Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Belated Fraiku

Biff Precious ponders
Invading A-Rack; decides
Jherbouti instead

It puts the face to
the hole, and it gets the nose
the flat-fronted nose

Jen’s Siamese Twin
Chad didn’t get the memo
“Tank tops only, brah!”

Bieber Douche looks like
Distant relative of “Zyzz”
Without astethic

Dude. Where the fuck did
the black guy’s hand come from
in this photo?…Weird.

Lindsey Graham’s plan
for rotating first lady
has just won my vote.

Fraiku

No-Pants Subway Day
Now apparently a thing;
Douchebag Sally Rides

Candyman wields mere
tic tacs, but handles king size
Whatchamacallit.

The knit cap stays on
Whilst I rummage her Coolie
Her Coolie, I says

The knit cap stays on
whilst she uses her man hands
for various chores.

May be “No Pants Day”
But it’s sponsored by Valtrex©
Don’t sit on benches

Candyman looks like
he’s smuggling a roll of Certs
in those unfilled drawers.

The TSA did
A full cavity search on
Him and he liked it

Full Moon Party Guy
Gets a GoinPeace from me;
just leave the Hott please.

Wearing mom’s granny
panties as cowl is invite
to “full moon party”.

The only couple
‘C’s’ he wants, are batteries
for that Fresh Boom Box.

In the air one smells
Whiffs of Japanese sarin
Smells like Victory

Fraiku

This ‘Bag’s Fish-Slap Gaze
Is verily strong, My Sons…
Bring forth…Halibut

The only places you can’t
Find these two smirking is Apple
Store and library.

Blue-tinged Midge Largeman’s
Guilty look and demeanor
She fouled Girls Room

A urine sample
Produced at a yard party
Won’t be accepted

Gay Boston Warlock
Macks on tranny Carrera
As Midge languishes

Fraiku

*shout out to Vin Douchal for coming through with some excellent ‘bag pics…you th’ man, dog*

Hipster Pipe-Farter
Butt-Pokes Trish with Irony;
Pretends she’s Bieber.

Mon amour, zap my
plump, clamped nipples from your car
battery handbag.

These two are proof that
anal causes pregnancy
please don’t reproduce

After seeing this
I couldn’t get a renoB
Sniffing Cialis

If horizontal
Stripes make you look thin. This
Cock Fan must be dead.

I’d smack this guy with
A bag of nickels and then
Drink some Chianti

His sun-blanched penis
sallow and ineffective
perks up to show tunes

He only wears stripes
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Zebra Hole.

I am among the eldest of statesmen of the few remaining holdouts who haunt these hallowed halls, once prosperous and shit. The right reverend Chad Kroeger has often lamented the fact that he is aging ungraciously and I feel his pain. And by pain I mean fucking stiff, loosely rolled joints. Why must we live on ointo the eighties when we’re propped up with blood thinners and Adderall AND SHIT? Question mark. Shffling around on walkers and Johnny Walker Red. Yeah I;m drunk and my spell check is lighting up like the fuxcking Geiger counter at Chernobly/ Fuck Chernobyl!
I think Obamma had it roght with his death panmels and soylent green and shit. I now official;ly swoitch my affiliation to the Green Party.
Selah
.
21
oh right we don’t do that anymore.
.
fuck you all

Friday Haiku

Well…”Lickety Split”:
Not just a saying for them…
It’s a way of life.

Saphhic potential
Inspires the Renob™
Hints of mon pubis.

Rehab detritus
Latch on to Milfy Goodness
Thanks to alcohol

Jeannie and Jennaie
Laugh at life’s sordid choices
They did not choose well.

You’re all hired! Yelled
the casting director for
the film, “Money Shot”.

These two are the type
of broads that you can Chili
Dog on the first date

* Do not Google “chili dog”  – DS

I’d do them both if
Heath Beardman was not in
Any way involved.

I’d give her a thick
Braciole and for desert have
A Spumoni

Nice Can O’ Plenty
They May Be Fake May Be Real
The RenoB cares not

My only question,
does Bruce Jenner ovulate
or menopausal?

ReHab pool is brown
Water has toxic cultures
E-coli and staph

Those tits on the right
fight a long, losing battle
with gravity, son

Rehab pool water
has been known to cure lupus
and spread the herpes

Friday Haiku

As long as there is
Reward for Bad Behavior,
There will be D.J.’s…

Quintuplets in
Vegas. One’s been eaten by
Parasitic nose.

It wasn’t a race
but she still won by a nose
Ashkenazi nose

Proboscis size is
Directly correlated
To my renoB growth

Rock, paper, scissors
Not as much fun as, Big Nose
Big Tits, Mini Skirt

When I was a child,
I dreamed of childish… HOLY F#CK
SHE’S GOT A BIG NOSE!!!!1

D.J.’s get the girls
At least that’s what DJ’s say
Spinners? LP’s only.

Starts every convo:
“I’m a bass player, dig me”
Line. hasn’t worked yet

Mountain climbing is
not his thing, he’s more into
dancing on poles, sons.

Semetic hott begs
for Titty Titty Bang Bang.
Walt Disney agrees.

Fraiku

There in the background
Is Straddles McScissorGirl
Swiping on Tinder…

After a long day’s
Sleep, hookers take selfies for
Night’s online ad.

Bleeths are Scissoring
In background whilst Douchebag macks
On Deb in foreground

Julio shows off
his I.Q. and number of
holes he’ll hit tonight.

Vern says “I’m Okay”
After morning Prancercise
Gotta catch my breath

Hector is angry
since the third stage syphilis
hit his monkeyhole

Experimenting
is good. But Jenny’s got a
bad hypothesis.

Sapphic love hook up
in background interrupted
by texts from boyfriends

After drunk mishap
with bro, this is as far as
anus will constrict.

“The glory hole is
about this big in the men’s
room!” She squirms away.

Scissors girl swipes thru
the lineup of losers on
Her Sapphic Cam Show

Fraiku

Slab-Abbed Jennifer
And Dual-Domed Denise repose
Amidst two D-‘bags…

Oh..fleeting youth. Ya
Know them abs depreciate
Like deVry placement.

Chips, empties and ice
All that’s left for these lightweights
Mom’s minivan waits

Sea Salt Kettle Chips
Are the third things that I’d eat
In this photograph

The Ginger Bohunk
Hides from Vegas sun or else
He’ll sunburn nipples

Little Big Titty
Goodness will give me renoB
All the livelong day

Forrest and Bubba
regale chicks with shrimp boat tales;
ladies found the “shrimp”

I’d abstain, by which
I mean I’d stain Jennifer’s
Abs with ckock slobber

Freaky Fraiku

One of these people
Is in ‘costume’ all of the time;
Guess and name which one…

Electro Charo
Goes all coochie-coochie on
Own ass. Hair boils.

Left Hott resembles
Rosanne Rosanna Danna
Bringin’ back the frizz!

Lucille Ball statue
has stiff competition from
the thing on the left

Toothless frizzy chick
Celebrates pay for BJs
To all three of them

She takes the trophy
for this years “San Diego
Hott Sternum Award”!

You too can save up
5 years’ bikini wax hair
And craft your own wig

Salad’s getting tossed
quite often in this picture;
Caesar’s Cross-Dressing

My spittle would froth
down the length of Sideshow Boob’s
plunging neckline

“Rest In Peace” tattoo
tribute to loss of his self
respect / dignity

Honkey Flava Flav
Macking on Bleeth with Thigh Highs
But it’s a Tranny

Fraiku

“Hey, gals…who wants an
Alabama Hot Pocket?**”
**Do not look that up…

The Shotti Brothers
Love Famiglia. Like shorn
Chests, the ladies chafe?

Ladies on the right
Put the “good” in Good Friday
Unleavened pressed breast

Can this entire group
Contract her chlamydia
Sharing pube razor?

Middle bimbo’s boobs
sure do bring to mind Michael
Strahan’s two front teeth

Trashy Bleeth on left’s
Boobs are so far apart , my
ReboB fits longways

“There’s no ‘i’ in ‘team,’
but there’s still ‘meat,’ bro!” Douchebag
spelling bee success.

Boobs were installed by
a wall-eyed surgeon named Biff
at least he likes them.

Wall-eyed! Reminds me
to confess my lingering
crush on Clementine.

Wide b(.)—–(.)bie girl has
Two of my favorite things
I hope she can’t speak.