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Saturday, February 5, 2005
“Lotta People Talkin’, but Few of them know…”
“…Big Leg Woman ain’t got no Soul”.
I learnt the hard way. Son.
Discuss.
Friday, February 4, 2005YoBro tells Pia to stop staring into the microwave
10 degree hat tilt? Check.
Douchie wrist acoutrement? Check.
Stupid $200 sh!t-wrapper of a t-shirt? Check
Smug millennial trust-fund scowl for his brah’s Instagram? Check.
Fish-Slap demeanor? Chickity-Check. Yo.
Check, please.
Sweetie, you can do better. It’s written in that sniff-poo look on your pretty mug.
But you choose not to. Hence we mock.
Thursday, February 3, 2005Memorial Day Weekend Thoughts & Links
Grampa here gets a Nottadouche Pass™ for being one of our honored veterans (he was wounded in Gettysburg…during the Korean war. Long story.) Let us all throw a slab of animal on a hot grill this weekend and reflect on those who never came home.
Yes, it’s that time of year to celebrate our awesome military – where many of us go for a long ride, way across-country, to hang out with family members we don’t really like (like our weird cousin Arnie) and eat good food.
But you pervs came here to open up links about women, didn’t you?
Have at:
Patriotic Right To Pear Arms Pear (not bad for 53…)
I Refuse To Accept That Poo Comes Out Of This Pear Pear
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butt Hair Pear
Wednesday, February 2, 2005Haiku Time
“Strap on?!? Aw Hells Yeah!”
Poor Todd did not realize
He was Kim’s “bottom”.
Charles Douchewin:
Club Boulder Holders™
“Get Your Rocks Off On Our Rocks!”
Old ted grasps at youth.
Capt. James T. Douche:
He is putting up
The rocker, but she will not
Receive The Shocker
The Very Reverend Chad Kroeger:
She goes rock climbing
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
DoucheyWallnuts:
Wonder Woman’s Gunt
Off-sets massive Sweater Meat
Seahawk Douche gets some
Ed Hardy Har Har:
Tied up in Wonder
Woman Magic Lasso gives
Todd Magic renob!
Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche:
Todd “Rocks out with his
cocck out” he tells Kim. She sees
large bulge near his ass.
creature:
Cindi Buttplier
number one installer at
“Joe’s Perma-ButtPlug”
DoucheyWallnuts:
Bloated Belayer
Attaches Schmeckle* Harness
For Penis Torture
*Schmeckle, he says
Tuesday, February 1, 2005Caption This Spectacle
Alert (and angst-filled) Legendary Bag-Hunter Doc Bunsen sent this gem in, entitled “Reverend Chad’s Basement”.
See if you can top that.
Son.
The winner gets to ‘bate to this pear. And we’re on the Honor System, folks.
Hell…go ahead. We’re all winners here. And with that pear I won first…and second…soon to be third.
Monday, January 31, 2005Captain Odorous
YARRR! Avast ye slobs…say oi to Captain Odorous and his First Mate, Candi Sugars.
And by first mate I mean the first female that has ever allowed him to mate with her.
I’d swab her poop-decks…
Saturday, January 29, 2005DAMN YOU, KING ALCOHOL!
O yes.
We’ve all been there. Countless Jack n’ Cokes…then…you spot her. The flaxen-haired fair goddess that meets your gaze.
You exchanges glances. Dances. She accompanies you home to your mother’s basement (It’s only temporary, Doll; c’mon down and check it out…)
Then you wake up to THIS.
Share your tawdry tales, as e’er, in the comments section. And prepare to squint your mind’s eye.
O…The horror…
Friday, January 28, 2005Your Weekend Movie
Alert reader Charles Douchewin shared this latest marketing effort to create artificial demand for the latest artificially over-priced adouchrement. Watch and see if you can spot what it is.
Hint: “Chest Lettuce”.
Truly appalling.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Friday Thoughts and Links
Shirts and other various upper-torso type garments are for losers. That’s the message Slugs Grifty here is rockin’. Deal with it.
Zucchini – The Other White Meat…?
“Draw me like one of your French Zucchinis…”
What America’s ugliest transgender person is into.
Speaking of healthy organic consumables…Pear:
Why Would You Stand In A Window With Yo Pants Down Like That But Im Okay Carry On Young Lady Pear
Yes I had to look twice to make sure that was a thumb Pear
I’ll bet $20 you are physically unable to do a keg stand Pear
I’ll Be In My Bunk Which Is A Metaphor For Masturbating Pear
Please Allow Me To Pack Your BackPack Pear
*sigh*
Wednesday, January 26, 2005Friday Haiku
Yogurt Yodelling!
Todd’s macking inspires these chick’s
Technicolor Yawns!
No more tequila
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Which vision is worse?
Vomit comet or Todd’s tongue?
Revulsion follows!
— Ed Hardy Har Har
Trixie is confused
Told Todd that she is a squirter
Squirted on his hat
— dickie fingers
In ‘N Out burger
Ordered with no grilled onions
Now we all must pay
— Vin Douchal
brocoli spasm
causes cindy to erupt
showing her contempt
— creature
Whilst slack-jawed Douchebag
Macks on sultry Bleeth, Trixie
Become bulemic
–DoucheyWallnuts
