Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Fraiku – Doc Bunsen Commemorative Edition

Pumps Stackley flexes;
No matter how taut his guns,
Faux Boobs are tighter…

The Bleeth stirs my loins
Whilst he does his best to quell
My renoB. She wins

Lelani’s smile makes
Sugarcanes grow in the sun
Aloha boobies

I knew Doc Bunsen.
You Pumps, are no Doc Bunsen.
R.I.P. Doc, Son.

Whatever happened
To Doctor Bunsen, I don’t know.
He was a Statesman

Doc B 6:40 FTW.

RIP man. You were one of the good ones.

***Dammit Rev, you inbred Yankee,  I said “Commemorative Edition”, not “memorial”…Doc is still alive and well.  Probably.  -D.S.***

Hang on fellas. This
one’s commemorative NOT
memorial ‘ku.

Chet already knows
the drill. Punches self in head.
Beats bouncers to it.

Lelani’s smile
makes ISIS do charity,
volunteerism.

“Suns out, guns out bros!”
“Two in the pink, one in stink!”
“Wanna circle jerk?”

Only a good guy
With a gun can stop this douche
With his guns out. Son.

Fraiku – Ken and Boobie Dolls Edition

I saw this pic from alert reader MC900footdouchebag and I had to nick it for Fraiku…

Ken and Barbie? No…
What a pair…No, it’s more like
Kenna and Boobies

Everyone knows that
Barbies don’t have genitals.
Don’t do this half-assed!

Ken looks like a cross
between Michael Jackson and
Donatella V

I am sitting here
And realize this is the worst
Thing I’ve ever seen.

Their faces were switched
at birth. Their genitals removed.
Thanks ObamaCare!

Macy’s Mannequin
And cheap knock off Real
Doll share a moment

Something tells me that
This broad’s monkey hole is sewn
Completely shut. Son.

Science is awesome.
Human-shaped condoms keep you
safe and disease free!

More like Down’s Syndrome
Boris and Natasha B.
Meet Moose and Squirrel

Which one wears it worse?
And by ~it~ I mean Botox
and lip injections.

judging from background
this picture was taken in
Homoslavia

Macklemore really
went downhill since lips replaced
by frog intestines.

I’m betting that dogs
yowl in pain whenever they
try to use toilet.

Photog says to them
“Make blowjob with teeth to the
camera!” Nailed it.

Fraiku

I used to bullseye
In my T-16 back home;
Those canyons are HUGE…

Famiglia. Schlomozzle
Hossenpfeffer incorpo
Rated. Il Divo.

Her boobs are in an
Open relationship with
Time, space, gravity

Axe-handle butt plugs
Nipples like cigarette burns
These babes got it all

If that nose was brains
She’d be a regular Al
Einstein, and then some

Like Lamar Odom
and Kardashian creature
boobs need time apart

In place of chest hair
Spirograph© retard doodle
Run amok with douche

“Give me something to
Break” yell Fred’s bros unaware
it is Fred’s cherry.

Fraiku: GreenPoop Edition

Bruno Von GreenPoop
Goes for post-Whopper buttsecks;
Ejaculates Teal…

The colour of her
Estrus Fluids is moist and
Rare. How rare? Soylent.

Our sewers are filled
With rivers of bright green poop
Must flush Bruno too

A bottle of wine
A rectal thermometer
Me and that brunette

Her cup they go run
Over. To lay her down in
A field of clover.

Lots of ass play here
He said to an empty room
I’ll peg my own ass

Friday Haiku – DarkSock is Senile edition

Thanks for bearing wit’ me during my extended visitation with the little Socks in California.  The Dude won the easter egg pear this go-round.  sons.

She’s disappointed
Biff Precious tells her “Real Men…
They don’t eat Kei$ha”

The Golden Girl look
First stage of transgender trip
Bottle blonde likes it

Poison, Ratt, or
Winger? She don’t know because
roofies and E rock!

Razzle Douche looks like
Chris Squire f*cked a Swiffer
Rolls over in grave

Once, while drunk I
Fingered my sister-in-law
She looked like this dude

This example of
Our species is closer to
Feces on two feet

Girls love dolla bills;
Leave a few hanging out of
Your blue jean pocket…

I dig the spinner
With Menses Rag on head. The
Bleethes are Trannies. Sons.

Enough alcohol &
prettymuch anydouche will
look like Magic Mike.

The Witches of New
Brunswick and Vince hit da club.
Blow all his paycheck.

Got facial bruising
At the nervous hospital
Lobotomy scars

The girl on the left
Gave birth to a stillborn child
In the parking lot**

**Damn, Son….  – DarkSock

Dog tags from Iraq,
Cash from job driving forklift,
Good looks from chipmunk.

Checks her pulse to see
if the roofies have kicked in.
run menses rag, run

Dolla Bill Douche looks
a little woozy. Later
he’s one kidney short.

Special Ed teachers
Remove his hockey helmet
Pose with new student

Big Joey P
Straight outta Staten Island
Also outta cash

Slingblade tests neck for
big lawn mower blade surprise.
Calls 911 next.

I am so confused…
Is it “Take Mom to Club Night”,
or “Bring your two Dads”?…

Fraiku

Brings new meaning to
“M.A.S.H. Units…I can almost
See “Hot Lips” thru mesh…

Plastic Everything
Douche Satchel in Her Right Hand
D-Bag Cops A Feel

Her ubiquitous
Double D plastic pink cups
Have minds of their own

“Watch this!” says douche as
he pushes her gunt and the
boobies get bigger.

In the center of
The Bleeth Hive, dwells the Queen Bleeth.
That ooze ain’t honey.

Mons Pubis can breathe
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Crochet Hole.

I’m guessing this bleeth
has handled more sausage than
a German butcher

Oh look, she’s wearing
an air filter element
as a bippy dress.

Fry-Poo

Horse Largeman gets drunk,
Has a night of wild coitus;
Then he wakes to THIS.

Fraiku

Porch Beef, Denim Jeans:
They all died in the 90’s…
Why not this DoucheBag?

He grew a head fin
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole

There are baleen whales
jealous of her gum line. But
she can’t filter douche.

Faux Hawk Club Guru
Hangin’ with the younger crowd
Gets stuck with the bill

Hey, that old bloated
guy with gray faux hawk is hot !
Said no girl. Ever.

L.S.D. offsets
‘Hawk’s blood pressure medicine
Time for a stroke out

Ben Franklin would weep
Salty fuccen tears if he
Could see this picture