Bagling

    Thursday, September 1, 2011

    Livee the Dream

    Over 18.

    Under 21.

    Straight pimpin’ rollin’ gangsta style in Woodland Hills, California at 3pm on a Tuesday.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, August 30, 2011

    On the Wings of a Pud

    ‘Bagling Barney, bordering on the nottadouche (but not getting it) sure knows how to pull the barely legals.

    One tatt.

    Carefully placed.

    And a part time job at Cost Plus. Get it while the gettin’s good, ladies.

    I see you Annie Hall giggly Ashley in the back. I would launch firecrackers from an enraged rhesus monkey’s swollen nadsack anus during mating season just for the chance to fondle your ruksack and lederhosen with a chomple boobie butt fondle gargle spinsack touchey poke.

    Think the last part of that sentence just got away from me.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, August 24, 2011

    Beachclowns Discover The Pear

    Next up: Beachclowns discover The Boobs.

    It’s like a Summer ‘Bagling How-To Guide that mediates between discovering puberty and buying stupid hats.

    Thankfully, they’ve pre-coded their backs with I.D. tattoos, so assimilation can proceed more effectively when Soylent Green production ramps up in the Fall.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, July 15, 2011

    Kelly is Surrounded by ‘Baglings

    Pudwack’s Anonymous just called. They’re holding the 10am slot.

    Kelly has the glorious smile of eighteen year old youthful Freshman dorm room innocence. It smells like scented candles and Ikea furniture. Endless potential and boobies you will never, ever see. Yet years after you’re married, you’d sell your children on the North African white slave market just for a chance to paddle her anklet bracelets with a licorice stick and cry in a hamper.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, June 27, 2011

    Sons and Daughters of the Devolution: Children of the Porsche

    See the Children of the Porsche.

    See them romanticize.

    See them spread their vile seed across this foul landscape.

    Be warned, fellow travelers. Stock up on water, HoHos, cheap alcohol and pellet guns. For the Devolution is coming. And there is no hope.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, May 11, 2011

    Melvin’s Striped Shirt has Pink Lining

    I just thought the world should know.

    Oh Nicole.

    How I would lightly, and with great pensivity, pokey prod the lower part of your hiney region with my childhood Battlestar Gallactica brain alien until you whimpered softly about the sixth grade teacher who used to spank you with a ruler, and your deep-rooted shame that you kind of liked it.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, March 16, 2011

    The Happy Bieberbag

    Short, happy and hair feathered is no way to go through life, son. Sure it may attract Paid-to-Pose bosoms of largesse. But the Biebpocalypse is only going to get worse. And your future kids will laugh at your old photobook.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, March 3, 2011

    Lords of the Fries

    For Üter, Gunter, Moritz and Ülrick, the night The Dusseldorf Fraülein Club left its alleyway door unlocked would be a day the Fries wouldn’t soon forget.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 28, 2010

    Manya’s Mistake

    At first, Manya just wanted to be friendly when Sven asked to take a pic at the 18+ club in Copenhagen.

    But then it was Manya and Sven and Sven’s friend Gustav.

    And then Manya realized she’d stepped into a swamp of Eurobaggery.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Friday, October 15, 2010

    Smarmy Neil Gets Lucky

    I almost wanna give Neil a nottadouche.

    Sure Neil’s wearing classic ‘bag ‘beater and busting hand gesture #19.

    But the look in his eyes betray the knowledge that scoring Freshman Hott Shannon in the cocktail dress is more good karma than his ancestors have earned.

    # posted by douchebag1
Older Posts