Barbaggery
-
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
The Moocow Brothers Flex for Amanda and Tonya
Classic inflata-douchebaggery in presence of tasty strawberry flavored hot chicks.
Guy Passerbie is not amused.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011Tina and Trina in the Swampland
Clowns to the left of them.
Jokers to the right.
There they are, stuck in the middle with poo.
Yes, I’ve written that before. And I’ll write it again. So long as Tina and Trina keep getting caught in swampland cesspools of refried alpaca grain.
On an unrelated note, a belated R.I.P. to the great Gerry Rafferty, who passed back in January. Which means he didn’t live long enough to see this pic. So there’s that.
Monday, June 27, 2011The Stay Tuft Marshmallow Man Approves
The Stay Tuft Marshmallow Man may only have a moment to take a timeout for bothering Confused Connie at the Bar, but it’s long enough to say:
“Yo. I approve of Manos: the Pecs of Fate and Back Arch Marsha winning the HCwDB of the Week. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am pale.”
Wednesday, June 8, 2011Grease Witherspoon
Sunglasses Inside.
Body grease.
Dozens of giggle hotts gaggling around some dude who just got fired from the Goldman-Sachs “Interns for Assholes” training program.
There’s a formula for this wrongness. And it involves investment banking.
I see you, Patricia In the Lime Green Bikini. Your radiant smile smites all molds, spores and fungi and makes pillows and laundry extra fluffy. And so I talk to you about your affections for Bud Light Lime. And even drink one. Which is as far as I can sell out for additional chances to see some inner boobal cleavite while you’re distracted when the D.J. plays “All the Single Ladies.”
Tuesday, June 7, 2011Manny Pukeindrink
There are a number of ways to get Whitney’s attention at the bar.
This is one of them.
Monday, June 6, 2011Party Guy Juan
Party Guy Juan approves of the HCwDB of the Week winning choice so much, he’s giving us the double point.
I see you, and I see your shy pearly lickable hott smile, Brunette Lauren on the left.
Your coy giggles and embarrassment from burping loudly after I take you to In-n-Out Burger on our third date are adorable, and make me awkwardly stare at your exposed knee from under your skirt, where a dollop of ketchup from a rogue fry has landed softly. I want to lick it. And so I do. And so you call a cab. And our night on Sunset ends with me walking over to drink a few Blue Moons at the Happy Ending Bar and bitching about life to a bored bartender hottie named Mona.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011The Mange in Black
Hey, it’s Turdle Neck Ted!
Cooler than Joe Camel, with twice the toe.
In the background, his acolytes mimic his every move in their futile attempts to land their own Squatting Cindy.
Run, kids; run. Turdle Neck Ted is a gateway douche…
One day you’re rocking ebony ascots; the next day you’re rockin’ them ol’ DuPage County Dungarees…
Wednesday, April 27, 2011Martin Expresses His Inner Child to Kelly
Of course, Martin’s inner child also shaves his chest, is orange, wears vests without shirts and Jesus bling, and has a scrotey fungal arm tatt.
Kelly wears the sexiest frilly diapers this side of Milan. And so I fondle her teddy bear and read her stories of scary wolves and crotch itch.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011The Afflicted Gnome
The Afflicted Gnome asks you not to mock his affliction. Which is halitosis. And a bad credit score.
So rather than restructure his debt, he’ll stare at some sexy bar wench boobosity.
Speaking of bar wench boobosity…
For those of us who fantasize about cigarette stained breath, a husky Kathleen Turner voice, social maladjustment and anger issues, and a heartbreaking tendency to ignore us and flirt with every bartender who doesn’t smile when serving them their Blue Moon, here’s my gift to you: Jolene The Boozy Bar Wench Hott.
She will break you.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011Benny Runs with the Dasani
Because even those doing the twelve steps need to shake it out once in awhile.
