HCwDB
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Monday, March 15, 2010
Ask DB1: Define "Doucheosity"
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DB1,
Merriam-Webster defines virtuosity as “great technical skill (as in the practice of a fine art).” Now I’m not claiming doucheuosity to be on par with fine art, it’s the complete opposite. But when has a douchebag reached doucheuosity?
You are doing the Lord’s work,
– ICEMAN
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I define the state of pure doucheosity the way the Supreme Court defines porn. There is an inherent subjectivity to the defining characteristics, but I know it when I see it.
And it’s this Turd Blossom.
Monday, March 15, 2010Ask DB1: Define “Doucheosity”
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DB1,
Merriam-Webster defines virtuosity as “great technical skill (as in the practice of a fine art).” Now I’m not claiming doucheuosity to be on par with fine art, it’s the complete opposite. But when has a douchebag reached doucheuosity?
You are doing the Lord’s work,
– ICEMAN
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I define the state of pure doucheosity the way the Supreme Court defines porn. There is an inherent subjectivity to the defining characteristics, but I know it when I see it.
And it’s this Turd Blossom.
Sunday, March 14, 2010Greeced Blightning
Crito, we owe a cock to Asclepius. Do pay it. Don’t forget.
Saturday, March 13, 2010Reader Mail: Tagging a Scrotomobile
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To Mr. Douchebag1:
I know this picture contains nary a hotte or a even the visual presence of a douchebag’s posing to Satan’s delight, however the picture is most worthy of your site. By Christ on his throne, a Hummer with a custom paint job on elevated wheels and a vanity plate that says 4UHAYTR . . . it is utmost douchbaggery!
When I saw this abomination on the road I knew I had to take the risk of getting caught by the police and break California’s prohibition against touching a mobile phone while on the road and take a picture of this afront to God and all that is good and holy with my mobile phone’s camera. At this same intersection my own brother previously paid several hundred dollars for doing what I had done to get this picture.
As in all wars previous, the war against the douchebaggery needs sacrifice to ensure victory. I figuratively jumped on a grenade to get this picture, and luckily for me the grenade was a dud.
Stay well,
LT. Haytr4Life
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Anyone who thinks our war on choadpocalyptic visions like this one is over, think again. We must keep mocking. If not for the children, then for the suckle thigh.
Friday, March 12, 2010Billy Twatwaffle Says: "Oi Mate! The Site's Still in Progress."
Another week or so before 2.0 launches. In the meantime, apologies again for all the font nuttiness and comments threads problems. The new comments threads will be much easier to navigate.
So while you’re hangin’, have a Stella from Billy Twatwaffle. Who’s from Australia. And wants to show you his Spidey underroos, even in the sitting position.
And feel bad for Lizzie Girl. Who’s sweet. But can get freaky when the moment is right.
And, because I care, even though it’s not quite time for Friday Ass Pear yet, have some Shadow Pear.
Friday, March 12, 2010Billy Twatwaffle Says: “Oi Mate! The Site’s Still in Progress.”
Another week or so before 2.0 launches. In the meantime, apologies again for all the font nuttiness and comments threads problems. The new comments threads will be much easier to navigate.
So while you’re hangin’, have a Stella from Billy Twatwaffle. Who’s from Australia. And wants to show you his Spidey underroos, even in the sitting position.
And feel bad for Lizzie Girl. Who’s sweet. But can get freaky when the moment is right.
And, because I care, even though it’s not quite time for Friday Ass Pear yet, have some Shadow Pear.
Friday, March 12, 2010The Purple Nurples Are Now Fondling Themselves
Mayday!! Mayday!! Someone, anyone in the military who reads HCwDB…
Please. For the love of God, the infant Jebus, and all that is holy to Buddha, Allah, Xenu and Ganesh.
Please. Call in a compressed air strike. Using a mixture of choloroform and laughing gas. It’s the only way to giggle them to death.
Friday, March 12, 2010Friday Haiku
Clowns of Long Beach mug
“Less Than Zero” Jamie Gertz,
R.I.P. culture.
short-bus, cross-eyed hott
can you not see/smell the slime?
dirty jerz surrounds
— baglanta
Tanning goo abounds
These four choads smell like bacon
Still…her rack is nice
– Wedgie
Stripey hott gropes bag
Finds nothing in his crotch, so
grabs bottle instead.
— Mr. White
Cross-eyed Jenny’s boobs
Travelling band of meatheads
“Down the shore” carnys
— yahoo scrotius
Monkey dry humping
His ‘bro does not see the hand
that will save us all
— Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
At the funderal
For their bro, they laughed, cried, drank
Then gang banged his ex
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Barbie likes seafood
So her bro threw another
Shrimp on the Barbie
— saulgoode42
Word Press I.T. team
Big Rage in Cabo spending
Db1’s payment
— Vin Douchal
Thursday, March 11, 2010No More Holy Zebra Triangle
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Just wondering if I could please have a picture removed that has me in it.
Im wearing a animal print thong and as funny as this site is, its only funny until your poon ends up on the site. I realize it was taken off of facebook and sent in by a pissed of ex of mine and its not your fault but I will take legal action if its not removed ASAP..
Thanks
Natasha
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Coincidentally enough, “It’s Only Funny Until Your Poon Ends Up on the Site” is also the working title for my autobiography.
EDIT: Natasha responds:
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Spank-you so much 🙂
If I would haveee known what I said would have ended up on the siteee I would have at least made it clear my ex is a loser dat likes to get pee’d on. lol
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Thursday, March 11, 2010Captain Emo
Proving that 2010 continues to be “The Year of the Hipsterbag,” Captain Emo brings San Franciscan David Eggers reading Valencia Street huevos rancheros irony eating taint and day-glo forarm bands (a key givaway of hipster-to-Jerz connection) to his hott fondling of Poor Maggie May.
Tings ain’t de same since ye came ‘ver frum Ireland, ayre they, Maggie May?
Okay, fine. Maggie May’s from Yonkers. And her grandparents emigrated from Slovakia. But I just wanted to see if I could do an Irish accent in type. And I couldn’t. So I drink.
