Where's Waldouche?
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Tuesday, September 6, 2011
HCwDB: Police Lineup Edition
Somewhere in this lineup of hot chicks with douchebags, I’ve carefully hidden the worst serving of potent orange groin shave reveal since April’s Marty.
Look closely.
Can you gouge your eyes out with plastic orange wine glasses?
Thankfully, Angie, Angie and Marie have agreed to each wear authentic Rube Goldberg Bathing Suits, providing us the perfect framework to appreciate the douchadox of their trashy hott Bleethery. Just pull the string and watch what happens!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011Where’s Waldouche?: Generic Fratflush Edition
After that last Eurotrosity, we need some real world, wholesome all American suckle thigh.
So, for your viewing pleasure, let me introduce: Ashley, Kelly, Kelsey and Jenn. Maybe not stylized model-hotts from paid-to-pose clubland. But real world spackle pooch all, with Ashley and Jenn ladying my godivas.
The waldouche?
Rare-ass Blue Cup does not approve of his antics.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011Where’s Waldouche?: Captain Peen Edition
Somewhere in this rather stilted pic of Captain Peen McSpeedo and Awkward Hardbody Harriet, I’ve carefully hidden a grassy knoll Oswaldian Waldouche.
Look closely.
No, he’s not the dude waving. Look closer.
Can you avoid the Speedo Peen long enough to locate him?
And say what you will about Captain Peen McSpeedo, but his hammock can pull some curvy-ass albeit surgically enhanced Beach Bunnies demonstrating Female Groin Shave Reveal.
Thursday, July 7, 2011Where’s Fish Slap?
Somewhere in this coupling of classic Vegas hottie/douchey sweetness and schlort, I’ve carefully placed the rapidly aging/sagging form of HCwDB legend Fish Slap.
Look closely.
Can you explain the five year gap on his resume when interviewing him for night shift at Carl’s Jr.?
Wednesday, June 22, 2011Where’s Happy Guy?
Somewhere in this lineup of quality action-packed giggle shake jiggle quake, I’ve carefully hidden a Happy Guy.
He is Happy.
And we are happy for him.
nottadouche, goinpeace and slap Ashley’s butt on the way out. We’ll forgive you.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011Where’s Waldouche?: Hott Soup Edition
Sam writes in:
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Twenty-two college freshman hotts accompanied by one bag-a-tron in upper-left. He goes to my university. His grades are terrible. His grandfather invented the magnetic strips that go on credit cards.
Thus this doucher is far from run-of-the-mill sun-glass in the pool douche and in fact, is descendent of douche royalty. One can only guess what hand sign he’s raising, middle finger, peace sign, hang ten, redundant point?
But enough worrying about him and back to the twenty-two fine ladies.
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I would rub only the finest of imported Grecian mint jellies upon each of their bellies whilst humming the theme to Night Court in an off-key baritone. Then I would repose quietly to the barn with only a candlestick and a book of poems by Emo Phillips to comfort me through the night.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011Reader Mail: Mr. Biggs’s Where’s Waldouche?
HCwDB’s own Mr. Biggs goes to Vegas and comes back with this quality Waldouche tag:
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Somewhere in this lineup of heavily subsidized Memorial Day woo librarian hotties, I’ve hidden a garden variety preening Vegas club douche.
Look closely.
Can you ignore the Pretention for Men hair grease long enough to find him?
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EDIT: Was Mr. Biggs, not Wheezer, who submitted the pic. Stupid Night Train hangover.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011Where’s Waldouche? – Mr. Biggs’ Shortbus Edition
Long time reg Mr. Biggs hid something stinky…
Somewhere in this gaggle of spring break sorority woo hotties I’ve hidden their pet Self Esteem project, Mort, who they hope they can rehabilitate by dressing like a wanskta.
Look closely.
Can you stop gouging your eyes long enough to find him?
Wednesday, April 27, 2011Where’s Poindouchester?
Somewhere in this lineup of flexible suckle thigh woo giggles from the Dunder Mifflin office party, I’ve carefully hidden a Poindouchester.
Look closely.
Can you find his nerdy/douchey creepy/scary gender ambiguous and cat neutering paradoxical visage?
Tuesday, April 19, 2011Help Felicia Find the White Belt Saggy Pants Asswipe (Sesame Street Singalong Style)
C’mon, everyone sing along!
One of these tools is not like the others,
One of these tools just doesn’t belong,
Can you tell which douche is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?
Did you guess which tool was not like the others?
Did you guess which tool just doesn’t belong?
If you guessed the asswipe wearing the white belt saggy pants is not like the others,
Then you’re absolutely…wrong! They’re all douchey.
