Scooter Helps Roxie Find Her Pole
When the strip clubs are closed, and it’s 11am on a Tuesday, Scooter and Roxie are masters at the art of improvisation.
Meanwhile, in the background, Ted discovers he has an itch.
Last Night at the “Wing Ding Shack” was epic, yo.
Scooter’s gonna write about it in his diary.
If Scooter had a diary.
And if Scooter could write.
Douchebag with Promotional Materials
Joey would like you to offer you this literature in case you were considering a career as a scrotey choadwank shoe poo assgargle.
The Paid-to-Pose Tapout girls reconsider their decision to quit the night shift at Sizzler.
Slumdog Hundredaire
Workin’ the night shift at Arby’s pays MAD cash, yo!!
I haven’t been this disturbed since 1970s Tom Baker Doctor Who played with alien blob penis.
Grease Witherspoon
Sunglasses Inside.
Body grease.
Dozens of giggle hotts gaggling around some dude who just got fired from the Goldman-Sachs “Interns for Assholes” training program.
There’s a formula for this wrongness. And it involves investment banking.
I see you, Patricia In the Lime Green Bikini. Your radiant smile smites all molds, spores and fungi and makes pillows and laundry extra fluffy. And so I talk to you about your affections for Bud Light Lime. And even drink one. Which is as far as I can sell out for additional chances to see some inner boobal cleavite while you’re distracted when the D.J. plays “All the Single Ladies.”
Reader Mail: Mr. Biggs’s Where’s Waldouche?
HCwDB’s own Mr. Biggs goes to Vegas and comes back with this quality Waldouche tag:
—–
Somewhere in this lineup of heavily subsidized Memorial Day woo librarian hotties, I’ve hidden a garden variety preening Vegas club douche.
Look closely.
Can you ignore the Pretention for Men hair grease long enough to find him?
——-
EDIT: Was Mr. Biggs, not Wheezer, who submitted the pic. Stupid Night Train hangover.
Reader Mail: Mr. Pink
——
Boss,
It’s been a while since I have joined the mock, but I come to you in extreme forgiveness with a sacrifice of a fully, self-admitted full-blown douche.
This creature, knowingly, & willingly practices the Dark Arts of Douchbaggery like some kind of Grand Wizard of the Jersey Shore without shame, commanding the will of the Grieco Virus to do his bidding for the evil conquest of the Hott.
As a long-time follower, I ask you DB1, bring the wrath of HCwDB down upon him like the chosen prophet that you are, weaving a trapestry of scripture like never before heard!
Have no mercy on his wretched soul as he asked to be cast down!
May the mock wage on and keep up the stellar work my friend! The world needs you…
-Battlescrote Gallactica
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He is pink. She is hot. I need a coffee.
Chewbacca is a Gaaahhhhrrrggghh!
Well here’s something you don’t see every day.
Anonymous Jawa responds to Chewie’s display with classic “Ooo Tee Dee.”
Ooo Tee Dee indeed, Anonymous Jawa.
Ooo Tee Dee indeed.
Manny Pukeindrink
There are a number of ways to get Whitney’s attention at the bar.
This is one of them.
