The Sneery Bros Run With The Goose
The Sneery Bros are considering renting out their temples to a Sudoku company.
It’s sad and tragic, but not surprising, that Katie has become a Stage-3 Bleeth hanging around that twin vortex of suckage. But tatts on boobies and Jesus Bling belt buckle mean she can’t be saved.
Where’s Waldouche?: Crotch Chin Edition
Somewhere in this gaggle of woo, I’ve carefully hidden a 1990s Porn Star Crotch Chin ‘Bag.
Look closely.
Can you find him?
Friday Haiku
Phil Leopard bares spots,
Rubs up on Bartender Jen,
Makes lame cougar jokes.
L.A. weather gal
Throws it back to studio
Dry, with chance of douche
— Vin Douchal
Lost his job, his house
Then his wife. What’s Ned got left?
Why, his dignity.
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Ryan Seacrest asks
His token date, “Does this make
Me more or less gay?”
— Crucial Head
As cheetah nuzzles,
Gazelle screams through her smile,
“Animal control!”
— Condouchious
Leopard boy tells hott,
“You got some nice big hooters.”
He sure ain’t Lion!
— scrotum pole
Silver hammer shirt
Beatles reference? Spots are scars
Maxwell, swing harder!
— Count douchekevich
Faux leopard hair hawk
Whispers to Plastic Debbie
“Does my breath stink?”
— mr.reeve
Brothabag Clive and Popsicle Pete Show Trina Their Undies
C’mon, people.
Those Bunker Hill Community College applications won’t fill themselves out.
Reader Mail: Chica Bomb
Our intrepid ‘bag hunter on the front lines, “A,” writes in again from Afghanistan:
—-
Dear DB1!
Thanks for publishing my email, me and my friends and a laugh at some of the comments and support from the members! Anyways so we do not get any tv here other than polish MTV, figures… if you haven’t seen this video you have to feature it on your site. especially on your Friday posts special it features incredible amount of hot babies and one uber euro DOUCHE!! He was part of the group that sang that annoying NUMA NUMA song.
In case the link doesn’t show its called chica bomb by dan balan.
SOooo many hots!!!
Sincerely,
-A
—–
Super hottness soft core music vid porn and some superdouchey Frenchobag. Good catch, A. Good catch. This song makes my uvula itch.
Brad Pudt
Brad Pudt macks the serious a-list hottie huntin’ game in Austin, yo.
Just ask Eliza. She thinks his Jesus Bling and highly original tattoos are the raddest thing this side of the electronic bull down at “Dave’s Rodeo.”
Alls I can tell you, Eliza, is don’t make Brad Pudt point.
For he will point.
Hipsterwank Henry
I had thought 2010 would be the year of the Hipsterbag.
Strangely (and awfully), it’s been more a series of garish trends of Groin Shave Reveal, the wake of Jersey Shore spectacle coated with attempts of irony, rather than alternative Hipsterdouche.
But it’s only August.
A few more like Hipsterpud Henry and rose tattoo fungus necks while hitting on tasty treats like Nicole, and things may turn out different when we sum up the year at the 2010 Douchie Awards.
Mmmm…. Nicole… I would rub only the finest breadcake puddings upon your pleasingly curvy and plump figure, and then cry in therapy about my guinea pig that never loved me.
Tendon Ted
Exploding Abs. Sleeve tatts. Nipples so horrific, babies just began crying in Bangledesh.
Tendon Ted is not an entertaining douchebag.
He’s depressing Vegas shlort.
Ass Pear Annie long ago gave up any pretenses and makes her money as she can, without judging the objectifications inherent in the unfettered market system.
Danny the Scrub
Sometimes we forget what an average, real world, Midwestern choadscrub looks like.
Appendix tatts, unjustified shirtlessness, stupid glasses, hand gestures, and a giant crotchstain. Danny is scrub.
Jessica is perky, slightly dull, and faces a long future in middle management. But, for now, her perfectly youthful body of youthful joy, and her strange desire to take her pants off at a concert, deserves applause and gnaw.
And a happy 80th to Sean Connery, who forever earns a permanent nottadouche simply for starring in Zardoz.
The Hippiebag Approves
The Hippiebag approves of D.J. Jerzey and Jenny winning the HCwDB of the Week.
The Hippiebag does not, however, approve of lurking older women fondling their boobs while he’s trying to take a pic with a ladyfriend.
That’s not cool, man.
