Friday Thoughts and Links
Today’s Friday Thoughts and Links pic comes to us all the way from New Zealand, reminding us that while douches are the same the world over, the Kiwi Hotts are delectable middle earth sunflowers.
Your humble narrator is hard at work as Season #3 of Is She Really Going Out With Him? gears up for production, and also on developing two new shows which will bring the HCwDB aesthetics of comedy to new places. And by places, I mean boobies.
Times is good. And HoHos are chocolatey.
Here’s your links:
HCwDB’s own Mr. Biggs has created an amazing new comic book which he’ll be promoting at ComicCon this weekend, Inferno 2010. Douchebag mocking will be well repesented, so kick your fellow ‘bag hunter some cash to help make his art project happen.
Corey Feldman. Still out there. All alone now.
I’ll take Things You Can’t Unsee for $500, Alex.
Eagle-eyed reader Robin discovers the important historical origins of the Douchebag Yankee Cap Tilt.
Douchebags on Facebook make the news.
From the United Kingdom comes some “celebrity” I’ve never heard of who keeps getting sent to me as an example of a stage 4 Douchebaguette. Her name is Jordan Marsh or something. I’m pretty sure my mom bought a couch from her in Boston in 1983.
Hedonist Rick is into “The Rippin’ and the Tearin’.” (With eye gouging dance moves)
But you are not here for Hedonist Rick’s hyphy dance moves. You are here to celebrate your week of successful douchemock with Pear.
First up: Ass Pear: The Movie.
And if that don’t get ya goin’, I offer thee:
For those hot summer days when one pear simply will not do.
Ryan Tags an Orange Inflat-a-Bag and Suburban Attitude Hott
Reader Ryan goes the extra yard for an HCwDB tag:
————–
DB1,
I had asked them to pose, and the Douche got upset. I suspect he knows about your site. I then took this while they were walking out, and got caught. Sir Douche demanded that I delete the photo, but his girl cautioned him not to get in a fight. He might destroy his new mirrored aviators. I asked him if he knew he had a trail of ants on his face, and he again nearly let his pythons and man nips explode from the sweatshirt. Luckily I am 6’3”, 300lbs, or I would have, “Suffered!”
— Ryan
————–
Risking personal injury in service of a ‘bag tag is never encouraged but always appreciated, good work, Ryan. And bonus points for asking a ‘bag about the ants fung. However, I think they may be bark beetles.
Larry The Claims Processor Holds On to 45 As Long As He Can
Who says stupid shoulder tatts, body shaving, chin pubes and douching it up in Vegas are just for the youth?
Elizabeth’s Quartasian body hottness cries out to rubbed with lemon tartar sauce and topped with a sprig of celery garnish dipped in salt water to honor her ancestors.
Friday Haiku
Thursday’s Starry Blight,
Has gone Supernova Poo,
A Red Dwarf of taint.
Professor Neckbeads
Will not be deterred, no no
Will bang somebody
— saulgoode42
Somewhere in Japan
The original Hello
Kitty prays for death.
— Mr. White
On the count of three
Everyone give me their best
Anal rape grimace.
— Crucial Head
Standard template for
greased beaded double Big Mac
McDonalds sandwich.
— Bag Margera
If this is indeed
An Encore as cups suggest,
Glad I missed the show
— the douche is alright
Air is thick with haze
from bodyspray and B.O.
Do I smell tuna?
— Bagnonymous
Poolside in Vegas
Five friends live large. They’d better.
Break’s over in ten.
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Starry Blight
Uhm… yeah.
On the bright side, the chance of a meteor destroying all life on earth as we know it is .0004%.
So we got that going for us. Which is nice.
Sherman's Starch
I’d almost be inclined to give Sherman a nottadouche if it wasn’t for the Janet Jackson Rhythm Nation shirt and receding platinum faux.
We’ll go with a stage-2 tag. Annoying, but not yet lost to the ways of the scrote.
Rachel is working it nicely, and her shoulders deserve to be lick-polished like a bronze bedpost by a Bristlenose Plecostamus.
Sherman’s Starch
I’d almost be inclined to give Sherman a nottadouche if it wasn’t for the Janet Jackson Rhythm Nation shirt and receding platinum faux.
We’ll go with a stage-2 tag. Annoying, but not yet lost to the ways of the scrote.
Rachel is working it nicely, and her shoulders deserve to be lick-polished like a bronze bedpost by a Bristlenose Plecostamus.
Ask DB1: U.D.B. Protection?
—-
Hey DB1,
I’m a big fan of your site, and I enjoy reading your daily social critiques on this mega culture of axe bodyspray, unearned dogtags, scarfbaggery, etc.
I have a question for you. I, like many folks during the summer, enjoy going to beaches and bask in the sunlight. While this is harmless, in of itself, many beaches around here in Ontario (i.e. Wasaga Beach), seems to be the beehive for douchebags.
Is there a way to enjoy the sun while not being exposed to the greico virus and try to get some hotts? Do I need to bring a vuluzela to buzz them off the beach? Are you able to make a baghunter summer survival guide?
Keep up the great work.
Best Regards,
Musicman
—-
Unfortunately, places where public semi-nakedness is legal — beaches, lakefronts, Scottsdale — will always attract preening schroads attempting to snag quality hott.
The true ‘baghunter should not view this as a trial, but also as an opportunity for ironic mock and appreciation for any hottie cleavite reveal that also takes place.
However, if the ‘bags become overpopulated in a specific location, the Gaming and Wildscrote Commission does allow the use of three syllable words in their presence from May to August.
Bob's Oily Tatt Migration
Is the douchey shoulder tatt the 2010 version of the douchey neck or ab tatt? And where did all the neck and ab tatts migrate to?
Is Shane McPink hiding a secret from his parents?
But most importantly, is Irene as raunchy as her eyes promise, and if not, can I get my money back for the four overpriced Fuzzy Navels and two hours hearing about how her family is, like, so totally beyond lame it’s not even right, you know what she’s saying?
Bob’s Oily Tatt Migration
Is the douchey shoulder tatt the 2010 version of the douchey neck or ab tatt? And where did all the neck and ab tatts migrate to?
Is Shane McPink hiding a secret from his parents?
But most importantly, is Irene as raunchy as her eyes promise, and if not, can I get my money back for the four overpriced Fuzzy Navels and two hours hearing about how her family is, like, so totally beyond lame it’s not even right, you know what she’s saying?
