Friday Haiku
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Friday, February 24, 2012
Friday Haiku
The gals were all so
Excited by Vinnie’s crabs…
Until they caught them.
BP CEO
Poses on Gulf vacation
“This tastes so oily . . .”
— Douche Wayne
I can’t hate this guy
he’s old and just wants seafood
with a side of hott
wait, I changed my mind
did not see his six pound watch
tonight, dine IN HELL
— Douche Springsteen
Saggy balls and crabs
Fat wallet, Jersey accent
Golddigging Bleeths win
— Capt. James T. Douche
Short sold Enron stock
Living the dream in Tampa
Still fat, bald, ugly
— Vin Douchal
Macy Gray Can’t sing
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Ugly with money,
Fresh young Vagina they have,
Match made in Heaven.
— ASvB, aka Yoda
Friday, February 17, 2012Friday Haiku
Sheen head and Christ crotch,
Sophie’s Mayan Eye beckons,
God punishes all.
Oh Christ on a crotch
Victoria’s secret is
Wayne Rooney troll doll
— ehcuodouche
Her head points to West
Since the gyroscope was put
In his monkey head.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Jill lost her eyebrows
Not to worry; Bob shaved his
And loaned them to her
— saulgoode42
She’s just waiting for
showing of “Brokeback Mountain”
on douche’s forehead.
— Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
Geometric styles
Fractal swirls and squares in black
That’s lost on these two.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Druish Vespa Hott
Her boobies have gone to plaid
Lord Helmet giggles.
— douche wayne
scribble shirt douche poo
bald head stuck in tanning bed
Sophie’s globes shine through
— SonnyChibaChoad
Friday, February 10, 2012Friday Haiku
Better watch out, Girl…
Urinal Lotta Trouble.
I’d pee in her butt.
Hair from a bottle.
Clothes courtesy of the nearest
Tuxedo Junction.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Blow job now finished
She wonders how big a tip
Dickhead’s gonna pay
— Wedgie
Shelly contemplates
Existential dilemma;
Puke in sink or floor?
— hermit
Chad gets a pic of
latest bathroom conquest. She
ponders, “What’s his name?”
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
heroin chic chick
shoots up in the wrong bathroom
douche moves in for kill
— Douche Springsteen
Sheila contemplates
pulling out her black butt plug.
Its a Tad. Too Big.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
I admire her
still trying to look sexy
in front of piss-holes
— Medusa Oblongata
I hate to be rude
but your bride is a gross skank
get a good lawyer
— Medusa Oblongata
I’ll take “Hairstyles That
Died in the Eighties” for two
hundred, Alex, please.
— UFO Destroyers
He looks plaintively
Into the midde distance
She sees cum on shoes
— McCrude
Bathroom Rondevous
Meat Curtains on Marble Tile
Scrotal Slap Echo
— Doucheywallnuts
The Smell of Stale Balls
Is it From the Urinals?
Or is it Her Breath?
— Doucheywallnuts
Hey baby, I will
Adorn you in pearls and cake
Yes, urinal cakes
— Vin Douchal
Porcelain thrones gleam
not utilized. Both the king
and queen sit to pee.
— army (ret) douche
Friday, February 3, 2012Friday Haiku
Mr. Jay Louis:
What’d I ever do to you?
This is so harsh, man…
Shake it off, DarkSock…
Just pull it together, Man…
*takes a deep breath, then…*
Jill always wanted
A Chaz Bono Shit Golem;
Now what, Jill? Now what???
or
Not sayin’ Jan’s dumb,
But she clearly cannot tell
Douche from Shinola.
As always, your turn
Awaits in comments section;
Lawd have mercy, Y’all…
-D.S.
Friday is a day
Relished for boobies and mock
Today I just wipe
— saulgoode42
Sad Cathy wonders,
If Al Jolson took a shit,
Would it smell this bad?
— hermit
Double Ducky Lips
Ebony and Ivory
Perfect Harmony
— Wedgie
Shoe polish is for
loafers you silly twit. Come
here, mine need a buff.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Friday, January 27, 2012Friday Haiku
PIC DELETED
Todd and Linda love
casino tribute acts like
Billy Midol here.
Harpo lost his harp
Now he plays Kim’s washboard abs
Steve’s making duck soup
— saulgoode42
Billy Midol at The Sands
with Count Plate Facey
and Quincy Ab-Bones
— tall guy
Spikey haired ass clown
Douche not a douche for tall Todd?
Great abs need suckle
— Scrotewank Jones and the furry furry Douchetrots
Actor playing Doug
cops feel — but not on Linda!
Todd needs an adult.
— Morbo
Poor Draco Malfoy
Now making appearances
At lame fitness shows.
— DoucheyWallnuts
What’s her Secret? Well
Instead of deoderant
she uses douches.
— Nancy Dreuche
Tatum O’ still tight
Billy Corgan grows out hair
Dick Clark close to death
— Vin Douchal
That ageing douchebag
Thinks he can postpone his fate.
Hairclub for Men: Why?
— Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser
She hasn’t exhaled
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
— The Reverend Meme Kroeger
Friday, January 20, 2012Friday Haiku
“So interesting…
What’s in his mind”, she thinks. Hey!
Let’s crack it open!
Violet No Regard
Grabs Liv Tyler. Willy
Wonka calles Grape Ape.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Jeffy is happy
Tomorrow the games begin
Special Olympics
— Wedgie
Purple Hayes sings out,
“‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy!”
Tranny says, “Zip it.”
— hermit
Jerzey Jackoffsky
wears Tinky Winky’s colors;
Jerry Falwell seethes.
— Wheezer
Novelty Douche Store
Nose and hat come with glasses
Bring your own assclown
— Vin Douchal
“classy” Bleeth parties
with retard little brother
mom made her bring him
— Douche Springsteen
The tragic hat tilt
Is worse than purple jacket
And the tranny’s shirt
— Doucheywallnuts
She only wears rope
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey box hole
— Nepos
Friday, January 13, 2012Friday Haiku
Kate’s Hot Tub Findings:
Pour brown liquid in Tony,
Brown liquid poops out.
jet of hot water
prep for colonoscopy-
new use for hot tub.
— Troy Tempest
Kate’s favorite drink
Combo in the hot tub is
Always “Jack and Cocck”
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Seems there is a use
for handlebar mustaches;
foothold to drown douches.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Filthy, dirt-smudged bleeth,
Asks, “What would Jack Daniels do?”
Make him bearable.
— hermit
Drunken Hottub Nights
Skanks above the Vegas Hills,
This tub needs a flush.
— Mandouchian Candidate
Mustache rides are free
But are they really? Depends
On where you get off
— Jeff Nancy Dreuche
A young Rip Taylor
with his first girlfriend ever
this is why he’s gay
— Medusa Oblongata
Adding whisky to
greasy handlebar mustache
makes for toxic soup
— army (ret) douche
Part-time pool boy knows
Customers are out of town
Raids ‘fridge, fouls hot tub
— Vin Douchal
Salvador douch-i
Lusts for Anna’s paint pot, but
Clocks aren’t all that droop
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Captain Jack gets high
on own supply while bleeth gets
tgrease stains on left arm
— soy bomb
Kate never get spins
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
— Nepo
Friday, January 6, 2012Friday Haiku
Hey guys! It’s Rave Night
In the basement over at
They Live! Musical
National Tour Company
Where’s Roddy Piper?
— SonnyChibaChoad
Rubber Johnny has
Cult following. These are the
Children Of The Porn
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Post Apocalypse
No more credit card bill, bro!
The Walking Deadbeats
— Mr. Scrotato Head
All eyes are ablaze
Why are the chicks bent over?
Burning pickle-slits.
— hermit
Undead shoplifters
Celebrate victory at
Salvation army
— Dude McCrudeshoes
They all looked into
The Ark Of The Covenant
when Indy said “don’t”
— Medusa Oblongata
All your hair products
They are belonging to us
Douche and bleeth zombies
— Hong Kong Douchey
Too much irony
here to make sense. Douche zombies
have no need for brains.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Friday, December 30, 2011New Years Haiku
The casino band
For New Year’s Eve Party is
“Death Crabs for Cuties”
Tri-Lambdas’ revenge
not against Alpha Betas
this time, but parents.
— Wheezer
Pasties on Ta-Ta’s
Tends to lead to morning wood.
But ‘Bags are termites
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
So, you want band names?
Skanks nips decorated by
A Flock of Sea Gulls.
— hermit
At Tropicana
“Bring A Douchebag Get In Free”
We’re set for a week
— Vin Douchal
andom chump takes pic
of slut machines where he lost
all his life savings.
— Wheezer
Her tits never move
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Friday, December 2, 2011Friday Haiku
Neck Tatts and Slut Hair:
“WE ARE the 1%, Yo!”
…Unemployable…
Bottle blonde Q-Tip
Shiny building of a man
E-Harmony win.
— Douche Wayne
Shiny vest, matching
head kerchief…you know: to keep
it real AND classy
— idfma
She has crosses on
vest but there is no God. Proof
standing next to her.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
These two have it all
Together. Clothes and hair match.
No platinum card.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
No Shirt No Service?
I will mock authority
My vest in your face!
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
Whoever said that
youth is wasted on the young
must have known these two.
— FoghornLeghorn
Three Day Suit Broker
Irregulars to dumpster
He finds vest with lunch.
— Vin Douchal
Nero diddled, while
Roma’s crotch burned. Club Zeus smells
Like Greek Tragedy.
— Bootney Lee Farnsworth
