Friday Haiku
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Friday, September 28, 2012
Friday Haiku
After seeing Jill
Todd was unable to get
Her ass off his mind.
Wearing an Ass Hat
Is better than being one
This douche managed both
— DoucheyWallnuts
Jills prolapsed colon
looks eerily similar
to my mechanic.
— Not Safe For Rest (NSFR)
Jill’s pear needs a rest
Todd is mistaken for stool
happens all the time
— Douche Springsteen
The Porn Convention
Was going well until Sue
Pooped a Latino
— saulgoode42
Friday, September 21, 2012Friday Haiku
The Second Coming?
No; Charles Manson finally won
His bid for parole.
Quartasian Mia
sees face of God; it’s after
this guy strangles her
— Morbo
Dressing like Jesus
Scores even more under age
tang than Mall Santa.
— The Casual Teabagger
Why does Jesus smell
Like he’s been sleeping in a
Dumpster for a year?
— Capt. James T. Douche
Some Excellent Mocks
My friends! Enjoy them right now.
We will burn tonight.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Friday, September 14, 2012Friday Haiku
Their “Get Rich Quick” Scheme?
Join the G.O.P. and sell
Their baby Trump doll!
Koreshbag Poses
With newest members; she’ll be
Chuggin his wang soon.
— Capt. James T. Douche
A nominal fee
earns your child The Macho Man
as his Godfather.
— Douche Wayne
Muslim terrorists
Look at this picture and know
That we are beaten
— DoucheyWallnuts
Things have never been
the same, since the baby came
out her monkey hole
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Run out of diapers
Baby in hot dog roll bag
It’s their condom, too
— Vin Douchal
bun out of oven
despairs future prospects
wants to burrow back
— creature
It puts the baby
In the basket or it gets
The hose. Hairy hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Friday, September 7, 2012Friday Haiku
Kandi Kane enjoys
Her new ‘bag stereo:
In Douche 2.0
This situation
Has ruined any hope of
Legalization
— Capt. James T. Douche
Even Jane Goodall
couldn’t wrap her mind around
this social construct.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
The Clit/Hemp combo
Is not enough to rouse twins
Out of drug stupor
— DoucheyWallnuts
She has stopped breathing
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Chronic Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Pot leaf on her cooch
bondage tape on her nipples
Bad choices ev’rywhere.
— Morbo
“After you bang me
Leave your hats on this here shelf.
These are from today.”
— DoucheyWallnuts
Everything they wear,
think, speak is branded. Faces
need branding iron.
— Wheezer
Hooker on the floor
Ping ping balls fired from biznatch
Might be injuries
— Vin Douchal
Friday, August 31, 2012Friday Haiku
Willard combs his hair
By extracting his head from
Between Sue’s milk domes.
Hairspray Vs. Gel
Sven debates Inga; waits for
Roofies to kick in
— saulgoode42
Jean’s big, scary hair
is not the only thing here
overinflated.
— FoghornLeghorn
B-52 ‘do
Meets ‘A Flock of Seagulls’ hair
Run so far away
— DoucheyWallnuts
Nihilists know how to
Party, Jan practiced his stare
For several hours.
— Capt. James T. Douche
Friday, August 24, 2012Friday Haiku
Although Mortimer
Didn’t pee in Tammi’s pool,
He ruined her vodka…
Jesus died on cross
for sinners. Sees Mortimer
and reconsiders
— Charles Nelson Douchely
Two-tone bikini
is not impressed by bad tats.
Mort tries the peen grab.
— FoghornLeghorn
Rich guy hires Tina
To be his dork son’s first lay;
Tina wants more cash
— saulgoode42
The last time I saw
this much pork in hot water
was boiling hot dogs.
— Douche Wayne
This is the poster
For Fecal Incontinece
Don’t go in the tub
— DoucheyWallnuts
Friday, August 17, 2012Friday Haiku
The Mullet Hawk cries
“Cree! Cree! Girlie Drinks? Mmmm-Mmm!
Both will get roofied.
Friday, August 10, 2012Friday Haiku
In bed, Lance causes
Seven seconds of terror,
Much like the Mars probe.
Space man is not thrilled.
Ground control to major Tom:
You’re gay as Bowie.
— hermit
Steve’s new pick-up line:
“Open the pod bay doors, H.A.L.”
results in dry balls.
— Douche Wayne
Luke Guystalker just
Wants these icky girls to go.
Saddles up Mugwomps.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
One small step for man
One giant step for douchebags
These steps are backwards.
— DoucheyWallnuts
Friday, August 3, 2012Friday Haiku
These choads ask the girls:
“So, What can Brown do for you?”;
Bring Small Packages…
Two giggle hotts laugh
and slip through the douche gauntlet
The bags don’t notice.
— Bilbo Douchebaggins
Wandered over from
apartments next door, to bitch
about the poo smell
— FredN.
Black-briefed Bob ponders
Age old question. “What happened
to my freakin’ nads?”
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Astronauts return
Successful orbiting the sun
now smell like poo
— Anonymous
Is this the way to
Trader Joe’s? she asks and laughs
shopping list: raisins
— FredN.
Ann giggles with Jane.
They got a bag o’ butt plugs.
Sold as ‘Ass Toners’.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
It has been until
Now a myth. The myth of the
Sewer line stippers.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Crowd Happy
Fukushima Clean Up Crew
Home Safe and Sound
— Masterfellini
“I hate Tom Hardy”
cry the rejected actors
for the role of Bane
— Douche Wayne
Friday, July 27, 2012Friday Haiku
Jules learns a lesson
About dating guys she meets
At Underpasses
Choking fantasy
Goes wrong, throw in the bath salts
Hell of a snuff film.
— Capt. James T. Douche
Bath Salts Magician
Finds his latest assistant.
Makes face disappear.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Bath salts Jesus gives
Sermon on the Towel. Bleeth
sees burning bushes.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Occupy Wall Street
Was too mainstream for these two
Occupy Skid Row
— Douche Wayne
