HCwDB
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Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Happy St. Patricks Day!
Mock them, they’re Douchish! Well, the dude on the right is. I’ll give guy on the left a nottadouche and a go in peace. And I’ll surreptitiously stare at Maggie’s rack when she’s busy taking their beer order.
But seriously. Happy St. Pats Day. From your humble alcoholic narrator, to you.
Having grown up among the dysfunctional, alcoholic and amusingly self-destructive Irish of Boston, Massachusetts, even though I myself am not Irish, I can safely say that, after 364 days of depression, repression, Catholic guilt and beer induced self medication, the Irish deserve a day of partying.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010Kissy Lips
Still out there.
Still douchey.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010Thunderbags are Go!
We need to bring back the puppet show.
I’m serious. Wooden tactile analog talismans of human exaggeration would serve as parable for tales of morality, sin, redemption and stupid hair.
Enough with the CGI. Yes, Tron: Legacy looks like the shneebling. But I’m calling for a return to the analog. The puppet.
As in, Puppetchoad Theater, pictured here.
No more Avatars and Pixars. Bring back the real. Bring back the Benjaminian aura that may be replicated, but can never be reproduced.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010Bluefin and the Long Island Milf Teas
Mmm… ice pops.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010Ask DB1: Is the Band "Nickelback" Douchey?
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Hey DB1,
Can you please explain, in your infinite wisdom, as to why the band, Nickelback, are douchebags? One of my friends loves the band, and I try to explain why they are douchey (cliched lyrics – for example)….Can you do a good essay-like rant like you did with Dane Cook? I’d love to hear your opinion on this subject.
It’s not that the band has no talent. They just don’t seem to want to use any of it.
Cheers mate,
Musicfanatic
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No essay needed, good sir. I refer thee to “Exhibit A” pictured here. Or, for more on Nickelbaggery, go here. It’s not that they’re shallow fratpuke kegger tune constructing simpletons. Heck, Hootie and the Blowfish was that. But Hootie knew what they were.
Nickelback thinks it’s something profound.
And for that, they’re a two chord in search of a resolve. They’re a sus-4 in search of pentatonic blues, with nary a bridge in sight.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010Ask DB1: Is the Band “Nickelback” Douchey?
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Hey DB1,
Can you please explain, in your infinite wisdom, as to why the band, Nickelback, are douchebags? One of my friends loves the band, and I try to explain why they are douchey (cliched lyrics – for example)….Can you do a good essay-like rant like you did with Dane Cook? I’d love to hear your opinion on this subject.
It’s not that the band has no talent. They just don’t seem to want to use any of it.
Cheers mate,
Musicfanatic
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No essay needed, good sir. I refer thee to “Exhibit A” pictured here. Or, for more on Nickelbaggery, go here. It’s not that they’re shallow fratpuke kegger tune constructing simpletons. Heck, Hootie and the Blowfish was that. But Hootie knew what they were.
Nickelback thinks it’s something profound.
And for that, they’re a two chord in search of a resolve. They’re a sus-4 in search of pentatonic blues, with nary a bridge in sight.
Monday, March 15, 2010The Boob Whisperer Sez "Duussshhheee…"
Because knit caps weren’t cool even when American Beauty came out.
I would gargle a blended mixture of thumbtacks and mashed yeast while dressed only in a paisley mumu and singing Wang Chung Karaoke in front of a laughing class of third graders just for the chance to lightly chew on her discarded pickle jar.
Monday, March 15, 2010The Boob Whisperer Sez “Duussshhheee…”
Because knit caps weren’t cool even when American Beauty came out.
I would gargle a blended mixture of thumbtacks and mashed yeast while dressed only in a paisley mumu and singing Wang Chung Karaoke in front of a laughing class of third graders just for the chance to lightly chew on her discarded pickle jar.
Monday, March 15, 2010Beach Blanket Ballsackian
Sometimes, after a particularly heated argument over meatloaf dinner with her parents, objecting as they are to her decision to go to trade school to learn makeup and hair design for movies, Fiona just needs to get away from her parents for the day.
But of all the guys she knows, only Vinny has a car.
And only Vinny is able to drive her to the shore. On a Tuesday.
So Fiona makes compromises in her life choices.
Monday, March 15, 2010The Boob Whisperer
Shhhh!!
The boobies are speaking…
But what are they saying?
Take your best guess in the comments thread.
