Hall of Scrote
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Thursday, February 14, 2013
Benzino Feels the Douchewaves Emitting from K.V. – Pledges to Act Even Douchier
This competition’s gonna take gettin’ swole, shredded, jacked, fondled, fingered, bones, clams, and whatever else we say in the parlance of our times..
Wednesday, February 13, 2013Kisseus Vomitorious Wants to Pump You in the Hanficapped Stall
The Vomitorious himself writes in to deny accusations of high percentage bodyfat:
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KV Here,
Took about 3 weeks I was on a straight no gym clubbing only plan. Bench pressing bitches. Curling girls and squating skanks. Running my mouth and sex for cardio. Haters gonna hate. Calvin bangin gonna bang. You mad bras? It’s f@#king shredding season get off the computer and meet me in the club where we will do pushups to pump up together in the hanficapped stall and hit the dance floor!
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I used to occasionally squat skanks after eating Indian food. I find that an extra glass of water before you go to bed can help.
Thursday, February 7, 2013Kisseus Vomitorious is Ripped and Scoring the Hotties?
Robobag Hates Gynochin
Robobag has had enough of this horse-chinned jowl.
He will not be buying that for a dollar.
Your move, creep.
EDIT: for balance: Robohott.
Monday, February 4, 2013If you had to imagine Kisseus Vomitorious and Random Hot Chick #23 At The Gym…
You’d picture it pretty much like this, am I right?
Faux workout poses for Instagram for the societal ball shave.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013"No More Gynochin"
Numerous readers have written in and begged me to stop with the Gynocular douchetrocities that remind us of the dog days of 2011.
Nay, I say!
Nay!
Nay!
For we must witness!
That is our duty!
With a douche-jaw like that, and a bevy of hotties in tow, what else ya gotta do on a Wednesday? Don’t tell me you have a job.
Pshaw, said the cat.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013Gynochin Points At His Future of Fraudulence and Lies
Gynochin may be a slot hustler from the dog days of Wall Street con, a pretend faux-pimp dressed in the cloth of the hustler businessman.
Cindy may be with Gynochin because her uncomprehending parents from Westchester judge a boyfriend more by the car he drives (White BMW 535) than by any other metric.
And so Cindy is confused.
And so we judge her only mildly for her trespass.
Monday, January 28, 2013Gynochin Slurps at the Teat of Nihilism
Vegas Dreamland of blurry illusion.
The fraudulence of fake-joy.
The reality of taint.
There. Is. No. Hope.
Sexy Paid-to-Do-Things Wynona offers quality boobie suckle that nonetheless cannot peak through the bleak abyss cast by the crisis of Gynochin’s essence.
All is lost.
Puppies get slapped.
Crocodile tears turn to rivers of existential rain among even the most jaded of realists facing a Gyno-future-chin.
EDIT: Whoops, prematurely published this on Saturday. It is, however, a Monday morning post to welcome y’all back.
Saturday, January 26, 2013Gynochin Haunts Our Collective Souls…
(from a hospital bead somewhere outside Peoria, Illinois, your humble narrator awakens from his diabetic coma…)
DB1: Wha?-…. What’s that?… What rouses me from this slumber?…
DB1’s Subconscious: Waaakkkkeee up…. the internet still needs your relic of a blog…
DB1: But… but why?
DB1’s Subconscious: Gyyyyyyynnnoooooooooochiiiiiiinnnnnnnnn… is still out there…
DB1: Gynochin? 2011 Douchebag of the Year Gynochin?
DB1’s Subconscious: Srsly, do you know any other Gynochins?
DB1: I suppose not.
DB1’s Subconscious: The worrrrllllddd… neeeeedssss your help…. The ‘Chin is still making insanely douchey kisssssssssey faces near hottiesssssss… whoooooo will mock this sorry piece of lemon pie shite?
DB1: I dunno. Who?
DB1’s Subconscious: You, ya dumbass!
DB1: Oh right! (::jumping out of bed, throwing off hospital gown revealing doughy ass::) I’m back!! I cannot rest!! Let… let me out of there!!.. The mock must return!!
And… the Mock continues on Monday.
Thursday, January 10, 2013The King Eternal
Douches come and go.
The King spikes forever.
