Hall of Scrote
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Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Four Prong: Superstar
The Prong may not have won the 2010 Douchie Award for HCwDB of the Year. So close. But yet so spikely far. But 4P has won entrance into our hallowed Hall of Scrote.
And did win two other well earned Douchie Awards, and shows no sign of de-spiking in 2011.
Here we find the extremely rare and noteworthy Unearned Dog Tags Over Douche-Tie look.
And all that with bonus Shrinky Dink star decal.
Melanie is a stage-4 Bleether. There is no recovery, despite her shapely form. Sadly, the Pronger reaching stratospheres of surreal ‘baguousness means her chances of recovery are slim to de-boobally nil.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011Somewhere, Out There, He Still Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks
I’m the laziest HTMLer out there, but eagle-eyed readers may have noticed that the Hall of Scrote has finally been updated to include last year’s HCwDB of the Year finalists, Mister Liptatt, The Sharkbag and the odious winner (loser), Stackhouse the Poet.
While I was doing cleanup, I found a bunch of He Just Bangs Bitches and Drinks posts from 2008 that never made it into the Hall, so that’s been updated as well.
As we celebrate the isolation and spaying of the odious Stackhouse the Poet, it’s well worth checking out our first poet laureate, our 2008 Douchie Winner for Most Trashcan to the Head Worthy, and a visionary dreamer who does not breathe what you breathe:
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I wasn’t born to work.
Other people were born to do what I want them to do.
A single hour of my life is worth more than a whole year of a person’s.
I don’t breathe what you breathe.
We are not the same.
I’m not going to work a 9 to 5 and then come back home and have bills to pay with tons of debt from a $400k house that will take me 20 years to pay off. I sure as hell ain’t living in an apartment either. People WILL build my 20 bedroom, 8 bathroom, 8 garage MANSION, and they WILL love doing it.
This way I shall have MY time to do the things that matter as I leverage others’ times to do things that I want them to do.
I’m going to be treated like a PHARAOH and people WILL love slaving themselves to my demands.
Activities: Anything I want to do…
Interests: I’m not here to make friends..I’m here to f@#k bitches and get money.
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King Douchuous the IV Has a Message For All the Hatters Out There
He’s available for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs.
Thursday, October 14, 2010The Gator Transcends
Douchebag Emeritus, The Gator, does not need no hot chick anymore.
For The Gator now transcends mere HCwDB douchebaggery.
The Gator is a force beyond pumped up artifice, societal talking-point or human winkydink. The Gator is an H.R. Giger inspired abstract alienation of corporeal landscape.
But since this toxic singularity is too much to witness for even the most experienced ‘bag hunter, have some surf pear.
Thursday, October 7, 2010King Douchuous the IV Reigns Onward
Heavy is the douche that wears the crown.
Boobies are the blonde whose belly uponst I gnaw.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010Where’s Fish Slap?
Somewhere in this unbalanced lineup of far too many pumped up schloads and far too little gnawable hott chicks, I’ve carefully hidden HCwDB legend, Fish Slap.
Look closely.
Can you slap him in the face with a dead fish for being such a douche?
Thursday, September 30, 2010The Vegas Seafood Surprise
Crustacean’s to the left of me.
Fish Slap to the right.
Here I am, stuck in the middle with poo.
Saturday, September 25, 2010Donkey Douche is Old and Crimson
But, like the legendary ‘bag that Donkey Douche is, still able to pull the perky boobies.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Douchebags rise and douchebags fall. But the legends carry on.
Until their early 40s. And then they move back home.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010Fish Slap Supernova
This morning, Grooo. Now, Fish Slap.
Many thousands of douchebags hitting on hotties have passed through this site over the years.
But there is only one Fish Slap.
Older.
Baldier.
Pumped up like an inflatable douchewart.
Hitting on tiny bar hotties without pause nor pity.
The legends of ridiculous scrotal spectacle are legends for a reason. While others fade away in a haze of hangovers and credit card bills, the true uberdouches just keep upping their tatts/abs/stench to new levels.
Fish Slap is that legend.
A legend who scars society with toxic Groin Shave Reveal.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010The Lumpy Professor
I haven’t seen an arm that lumpy since my ferret had lupus.
EDIT: And yes, it’s been officially confirmed that this is the douchebag side of our 2009 HCwDB of the Year winning couple, the powerhouse that is Smoot.
There are ‘bags who come and go. There are few legends who can pump up into this state of absurdity.
