Little Skippy Records a Song!
Good for you, Little Skippy!! During playtime, everyone’s a winner!!
Now clean up the dishes and then you can watch an hour of Nickelodeon before bed.
What Happens in Vegas Flips You Off in Vegas
OMG!! Wait’ll OMG Cassie tells OMG Betsy about what OMG Irene did at the Hard Rock last weekend!!
Nothing redeemable here. Nuke… site… orbit. Lets move on.
Friday Thoughts and Links
I’m gonna go easy on ya for this Friday Thoughts and Links.
So have a lineup of tremendous, award winning purity gnaw, and with only minimal ‘baggage.
With only a likely nottadouche Brothabag whoopin’ it up in the background. And his whiteboy sidekick over there on the left, Jon.
Jon don’t say much. But he does love the Vegas In for the Weekend Bachelorette Party Woo Hotts from Arizona State.
As do we.
So we can’t begrudge Brothabag Frankie or Sidekick Jon. Here’s two nottadouches and goinpeaces Now get out of the pic. There’s legs to gnaw.
Here’s your links:
Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “Hey, Cookie. How about we stop playing all these games?”
Of the many Guido Dances we’ve laughed at over the years, none were as innovative as the techno basketball shot.
If you’ve ever wondered what happened to E.T. and Eliot, here’s your answer.
There are many images of America. Very few explain the inherent contradictions of Americana quite like this image of two billboards. My new motto: I’d rather be at Big Jim’s Boobie Bungalow.
HCwDB reader Emmitt makes a video where he goes Cougar Hunting.
Want one image from a book from your childhood that’ll make you cry? Here you go.
Mmm… librarian hotts on “Community.” One of the best shows on TV right now.
Speaking of children’s books, here’s a disturbing development: Teaching toddlers to wear douche-shirts.
But you’re not hear for children’s books. You’re here for Pear:
Mmm… like two marshmallow aliens fighting for global supremacy on planet suckle thigh.
Go out. Go out and mock/lust. For the weekend is uponst.
Boobies and Stupid Glasses
I’m not sure which clubvelopment of 2011 confuses me more.
The recent development for the Hotts to ditch clothing all together and go with paint/sticker boob reveal, or slotted sunglasses that look like a leftover cucoloris used to light the set of American Gigolo.
The glasses? Standard douchewear.
The boob reveal? Now I am as big a boobal aesthetic appreciator of spectatorship as the guy on the subway who drools on himself and shouts about Castro. But too much reveal, while appreciated on a lizard brain level, also does not establish a contextual eros. Therefore, I must rule: Too much reveal = Bleeth. For there is sensual cleavite reveal. And then there is tape on the nip.
Friday Haiku
It’s…. Billy the Pudd!!
Blocks pic of almost sapphos.
God slays a puppy.
Pee-Wee Hairless-Man,
Pubis smooth as Porsche’s bonnet,
hence the fractal shorts.
— collossus of choads
Tri Delta sisters
Do community service
With brain-dead patients
— Hong Kong Douchey
This douche wants your love
His daddy was a jerk so…
Now we have to pay.
— That one girl I met awhile back
Bandanna Barry
Wears Gi-normous Douche Goggles
Somebody smite him!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Brokeback Mountain Jeb
has no interest in sisters;
prefers time with bros.
— Wheezer
leopard ‘kini hott
siezes my full attention
big top in my pants
— creature
CBS is proud
to announce the new star of
Two and a Half Men.
— Mr. White
Breaking: The Donkster Goes Free!
Many longtime readers have been following the travails of Hall of Scrote legend and 2009 Irving Thallbag Lifetime Achievement Award winner, the mythic icon that is Donkey Douche.
From his arrest back in 2008 over alleged drug dealing, terrorist threats and general douche-rage, we all wondered when the crimson visage of the donkster would again be back in action rubbing up on A-level club hotties.
Now, word comes out that after an epic two year legal battle , the Donkster is going free:
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A jury found a Palatine man not guilty Thursday of making a false bomb threat while going through security at the DuPage County courthouse in Wheaton.
Marc J. Mueller, 32, also was acquitted of a bribery charge alleging he offered to pay sheriff’s deputies to avoid prosecution.
Mueller was arrested about 8:20 a.m. July 17, 2008, as he attempted to enter the courthouse to appear in an unrelated drug case.
Sheriff’s Deputy Chris Shannon testified that Mueller arrived, accompanied by two friends, and attempted to bypass several people waiting in line to go through security screening after yelling profanities and acting belligerent.
Shannon said he ordered Mueller to return to the line and take off his belt, at which point the defendant told him it was a “belt bomb.”
Mueller was arrested on the spot on a felony disorderly conduct charge.
Moments later, the defendant — carrying more than $5,000 at the time — offered a cash bribe described as a “tip,” said Shannon, whose testimony was corroborated by several other officers.
“He seemed fairly serious,” Sgt. Thomas Hoffman testified.
But Mueller flatly denied both allegations on the stand Thursday, saying tempers flared but there were never bribes or threats.
“I sarcastically said, ‘It’s a belt, not a bomb,’” he testified.
————
Remember kids.
It’s a belt. Not a bomb.
Where’s Waldouche?: Smuggy Lips Edition
Somewhere in this lineup of Southern Bottle Blondes whose legs all need a triple pooch, I’ve carefully hidden a Smuggy Lips.
Oh sure, you thought he was innocuous at first.
But this story won’t end well.
Toxic Terry Works the “Tough Guy Sad Face” on Angelica
Toxic Terry has perfected the “Tough Guy Sad Face” ‘bag maneuver.
How’s it work? Like so:
1. Wear “tough guy” apparel. Gangsta threads. Dress “hard.”
2. Show a hint of the “sad face” when around the boobie hottie suckle thigh. Let them think they can reach your “inner wounded child.”
3. Reap rewards.
This is one of the most toxic douchehunds we hunt, ‘bag hunters. Glorious curvy Angelica has been trapped in toxic sludgewack. We must help. And by help, I mean mock.
Frobot
Frobot knows quality pear when he sees it. In fact, if it weren’t for the stupid facial pubes, Frobot might even earn a nottadouche.
And that is most certainly quality pear. Plus “Eye of Coitus” bonus in pic #2. I would gnaw. And touch. And weep.
For the Frobot knows all.
As The Frobot will demonstrate when it beats Watson on Jeopardy next week on the Final Jeopardy Question: “This comical fictional hair product was featured in a 1988 comedy directed by John Landis.”
Reader Mail: Four Prong Rains on Seattle
Jesse writes in from Seattle with a Four Prong tag:
——
So it has now come to my attention that 4-prong either lives in my sweet Seattle… or decided to drop his sweet douche self by… which is not okay.
I spotted these pictures that a few friends of mine posted, and had to ridicule and applaud them for snagging a photo with this fool. Enjoy.
– Jesse
P.S. I have no idea who this other douche is, but had to include his duck face.
—–
Like The King before him, the truly odious carriers of the Grieco Virus are mobile. Spreading their taint on hot chicks across this nation.
Especially the Bobbsie Triplets. Three glorious peroxided blondages of feminine spank gnaw.
