Friday Haiku – Thursday 4th o’ July Edition. SOn.
Well, the 2005 time machine posts have been a bit spotty. Spinal meningitis got me down. But we’ll get this boat back up on plane after the 4th f’shizzle.
In the meantime just lookit the bumper on Kitty, wouldya?
********
O Feline Princess
How I pine to put litter
All up in your box…
Friday Haiku
The I.T. Gangsta
Can unjam your copier,
Install Windows. Yo.
Greenie Weenie needs guidance counseling
Behold the now-former co-worker of one of our un-named regs. Due to unspecified TomDouchery he now finds himself unemployed.
Rather than mock this pour soul I figured you guys could suggest a new career path befitting his…um…skillset.
Or mercilessly mock the mofo.
Why not both!
Limerick Tuesday
Both of these dinks think they’re best
As they poke out their swollen-up chests;
Hers may be bigger
And bouncy like ol’ Tigger
But he whitens his tar-hole with Crest™.
Friday Haiku
Starlett is enticed;
Offered role in Karl’s new flick
“Beverly Hills Cockk”.
Captain Asscot asks
Jenny to “board his vessel”
But its a dinghy
Beverly Hills Kip
reports for poop deck duty
Starlett staying home.
Guardian angels
are “Keeping it Pretentious”
in Beverly Hills.
Tad looks like he’s more
interested in the free
bowl of soup than her.
Kim’s not satisfied.
Thurston Howell’s retarded son’s
hung like a minnow.
Beverly Hills Kip
Also sporting the matching
Seven inch butt plug
That ascot passed through
His colon, knot gave pleasure
She gave quite a pull
He cleans the pisser
At the local country club
Blazer found in stall.
TongueHolio grubs the tautness of Jen’s tummy and mocks you with his eyes, through the pristine lens of those designer shades which he was sure to leave the tag on. So, you know, you’d understand he dropped an entire 6 shifts of busboy pay on them. Same reason he hangs his $200 drawers out his $12 Dockers. Because that was the only thing in the store besides that new Chest Lettuce within his reach.
ToungeHolio also has a DefCon 4 scalp goiter about to burst.
O the myriad ways to burst it…
Friday Haiku
Even in disguise Rob Ford gets busted by press Drunk up in some bar.
What ia going on Wth Stay Puft’s crotch? Clearly he Is not Jewish, Oi!
They gone Ghostbusters Since the gyroscope was put In her Monkey Hole. It puts the fire in
The basket or it gets the
Hose. The Marshmall Hose.
After seeing this Photo,
Harold Ramis died
Of embarrassment.
Sta Puft Moose Knuckle
Gives me nightmares. Kills
my wood Trannies scare me, too
Later, in men’s room
stay-puff weird-o enjoys it,
when they cross the streams.
Fluffy sugar mons
Gives Pillsbury CEO
Cold sweat and nightmares
Stay Puft douchebag asks
“Want to taste marshmallow fluff ?”
Gets tranny’s gut punch
Biff McGrinnis squeezes his bounty and silently mouths a prayer of thanks. I wonder what he’s thinking?
Time for America’s favorite new gameshow…
…SMELMA FANGER!
Posit your guesses of possible digital odiferousness, as ever, in the comments section.
********
Smells like Pad Thai & shame?
The Price Is Low?
Smells like Indian food and menstruation.
Post-surgical pus drainage and KY jelly?
Who Wants to Bang a Hundredaire?
Your Week-end Video – Incompetently Late “tip-to-tip” tribute Edition
I’m not sure if you “people” (no racist) have been watching Silicon Valley on HBO or not, from writer Mike Judge (Idiocracy, Beavis & RevChad, Office Space, etc., et. al., con carne, per diem).
Mr. Judge has been our NostrilDouchous, if you will, foreseeing the societal damnation if we on the Wall don’t hold the line agin’ the Doucheous Whore’ds .
Well although the new series Silicon Valley started off kinda slow, it ended with what has now been universally agreed upon as the greatest Weenus Joke, both high-and-low-minded, e’er broadcast to the masses. The formula you will see in the background on the clip I link’d below was actually verified by engineers from Stanford, and no I am not making that up.
Brothers in Socks – I give you (no homo): “Optimal Tip-to-Tip Efficiency”.
You may offer your burnt tributes in the comments sections.
Hot Swaps.
