Friday Haiku
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Friday, May 11, 2012
Friday Haiku
Adams Family
New Clothing Line for ‘bag/bleethes:
Tickle Me Fail-More
Satanic dentist
Needs two lovely assistants
To scrub off his chest
— saulgoode42
Wings of Death dripping
with blood? No; sweaty chest made
Crayola runny.
— Douche Wayne
Hunting for vampires
Turns on hots. Van Helsing has
Bag of silver d*ldos.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Cosmetology
School Grads **CUT** loose on grad night.
Eight weeks was killer!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Vlad the Impaler
Has used his tool on these bleeths
It burns when he pees.
— Doucheywallnuts
How can we live in
A world where gothy Harlow
Wears McDonald’s wig?
— Nancy Dreuche
Rejected actors
From Von Goolo Halloween
Start own show, “Dullards”
— Vin Douchal
Friday, May 4, 2012Friday Haiku
Jim smiles; “Yes, they’re real.”
But Jim is referring to
Her seashell earrings
***********************
Jim’s proud of himself;
Redirected her money;
Nose job? No, boob job!
Her toucan beak serves
Well to pick the pieces of
Baclava in beard.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Old man and the sea
Sailed the mighty ocean blue
On board bleeth’s fake tits
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Sepsis has run wild.
Starting there from his right arm.
It’s poo in bloodstream.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Smile when I say “SKANK!”
Oblivion is a fake rack
In a douchebag’s hands.
— troy tempest
At the wrap party
For “Anal Adventures Six”
Sound guy meets the star
— Ich verstehe sie ist heiß
Sue used the razor
For poolside groin shave reveal
Jim sports face merkin
— Dude McCrudeshoes
An old silent pond…
Douche and bleeth jumps in the pond,
splash! Silence again.
— Doucheywallnuts
Friday, April 27, 2012Friday Haiku
Behold Rocker Todd:
Knows how to make barre chords, but
Can’t put on a shirt
Glenn Danzig Old Bag
Instead of singing “Mother”
Brings her to next gig.
— Douche Wayne
Leather, mesh, hair, dirt
Reminiscent of one thing
My bathtub’s drain hole
— Justin
Hercules, Xena
Have seen better days than this
Now battle the herp
— Dude McCrudeshoes
It places the shirt
In the basket or it gets
The hose. Her skin hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Ratt. Jackyll. Great White.
Best animal names taken.
Meet Marmoset.
— Baron Von Goolo
Yeah, I’d tap that hott.
I’d flop like a fish in nets.
Freeing butterfly!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
twenty-six reds and
a bottle of wine should take
care of Rocker Todd
— Douche Springsteen
Friday, April 20, 2012Friday Haiku
New movie being shot,
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Pear,
Director calls, “pooch!”
This is the only
tiger that Siegfried and Roy
would be afraid of.
— Douche Wayne
Modern Art eats my
Mind. My mind wants to eat the
Modern Art. Mother?
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
I am not quite sure
How to ask this question now
but tiger’s tongue, where?
— Master Pee
It puts the whiskers
Horror film or comedy?
Hose again. Skin hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
^Damn you, Reverend…I can’t stop laughing… -DarkSock
If this faux tiger
Sticks out its tongue or roars
That’s it, I’m leaving
— saulgoode42
This is the first time
A wild animal has
Given me boners
— Doucheywallnuts
Friday, April 6, 2012Friday Haiku
Nathan Explosion
Cartoon dude with Cartoon bleethes…
Metalocalypse!
It’s not the size of
the wand, but the magic in
it. He shoots blanks, too.
— Wheezer
From the Depths of Hell
Comes Vapid, Shallow Creature
Welcome,Trust-Fund Tool
— Bag em, Tag em
By the power of
Greyskull, I command you to
*****-**** all night.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
“Hey, wanna party
on my tour bus?” It’s yellow,
has only five rows
— Wheezer
chest bombs can’t be stopped
only hope to contain them
Hello Kitty poke
— SonnyChibaChoad
Gene Simmons Jr.
Wears guyliner because he
Doesn’t have dad’s tongue
— The Dude
Darth Commodicus
Senses disturbance, those aren’t
Boobs, they’re space stations
— Dude McCrudeshoes
Balloon Squeak Popouts
Hey! There’s nuthin’ wrong with that!
‘Cept, the center douche.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
I caught the VD
From looking at this picture
My wife says, “Yea Sure!”**
— Doucheywallnuts
Chongo Bonobo
Has fallen from ugly tree
And hit every branch
Dispeptic TattBag
Bored with the the club scene acts cool
Mom still makes his bed
— Vin Douchal
Blaine/Angel poser.
Abra-abra-ca-dabra!
Lesions, now appear!!!
— Baron Von Goolo
**“Yea Sure”, she says
Friday, March 30, 2012Friday Haiku
Mad scientist’s lab,
Crimes against humanity;
Douche clones rock sweet chaps…
Doublemint gum gig
Ends for Rainbow Douche Quartet
Can Schnapps now sponsor?
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Chance of twins is low.
Chance of finding those clothes twice
Mission Indouchable.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Hi, Americans!
We are shagging well these, eh?
You are jealous of.
— saulgoode42
This pic is either:
World’s ugliest quadruplets,
or four ugly dudes.
— hermit
Douchebag petri dish
Geddy Lee sample mixed in
Fertilized goat goo
— Vin Douchal
John Daly called. He
wants to know if he can buy
His pants back from them.
— The Dude
A midget sandwich
Is always unappealing
Even with bleeth bread
— Doucheywallnuts
do I see double?
perhaps I folded paper
before wiping ass
— creature
Lithuanian
Hair band can still pull groupies
And steal their chokers
— Choad the Douche Sprocket
Doctor Mengele
Tried his best and succeeded
Says now, “I’m Sorry!”**
— Doucheywallnuts
Can’t decide what’s worse
Casino carpet clothing
Or R.E.O. hair dos
— Mr. Scrotato Head
** “sorry”, he says
Friday, March 23, 2012Friday Haiku
Hark! Beldar ConeHead
Consuming mass quantities
Of Goose and Valtrex
Frank will demonstrate
With Kim his new “Butt Juicer”
Sit and spin on head
— saulgoode42
Vegas offers odds
That bandana hides bald spot
Even money bet
— Charles Nelson Douchely
Bandana covers
odd dome, pinstripe suit hides moobs
Bleeth hides dad issues
— Capt. James T. Douche
Pinky’s dress so short
another inch and the world’s her
gynecologist
— SonnyChibaChoad
With no money left
After buying watch. Brett quit the
Rogaine. Wears bad lamp.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
The message is clear
This douchebag needs an ass punch
An ass punch, I says
— Doucheywallnuts
Friday, March 16, 2012Friday Haiku
Every one of us
Has a little douche in them;
Including these girls.
A midget sandwich
Is always unappealing
Even with bleeth bread
— Doucheywallnuts
Banishment from the
Lollipop Guild turned Herman
to the douchey side.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Asian Jill is blazed
Pam’s clearly drunk; while Jim’s like,
“Where my shorties at?!”
— saulgoode42
wee man’s pick up line:
“I was an ewok, baby”
blondie thinks, “why not?”
— Douche Springsteen
Somewhere in the scaffolds
Johnny Knoxville prepares to
Let go a brown shower.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
At the Star Wars Wrap
Ewoks go Berserk with Booze!
There was just one pint.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Friday, March 9, 2012Friday Haiku
Jan reached the sink sponge,
When they put the Cuisinart
In her Freezer tray
Human centipede
Created by douche brothers
Largeman calls police
— ehcuodouche
douchebags and bleethskank
attempt the hokey pokey
after huffing glue
— troy tempest
Horrendous douchebags
Can’t quell my massive boner
Sapphic power rules**
— Doucheywallnuts
**rules, he says
What Is love? thinks the
Roxbury twins. Bleeths could care
less as hand starts groping.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
one out of five youths
overdose on alcohol
one down four to go
— the ‘bag apple
The Bleeths cluster bang
Douches gesture stupidly
Societal loss
— Capt. James T. Douche
Friday, March 2, 2012Friday Haiku
Michael Bay – King Douche
Pitches concept to Tyson:
“Mike’s Wong Wife Choithes”
Her hair’s gone afro
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Interracial date
In bizarre love triangle;
John Largeman is watching.
— Douche Springsteen
Number one salesman
At Vegas Bling convention
Wins Mike “Meet and Greet”
— Vin Douchal
Mike Tyson’s next bout
Wynn’s All You Can Eat Buffet
He’ll be champ again
— Magnum Douche P.I.
Baybag blows shit up
Tyson bag blows career up
Douchery never ends
— Capt. James T. Douche
“To Wong Fu, With Love
Needed way more explosions!”
Cocaine-ramble-mouth.
— Douche Wayne
Mike was wife-beater,
can we hope he becomes a
douche beater as well?
— Morbo
