Friday Haiku
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Friday, November 25, 2011
Thanksgiving Friday Haiku
Damn…DB1 must’ve been saving this treat up all year. Hmmmm…..how about:
“Swing with us, RevChad…”
Next morning he wakes with a
Carrot in his butt.
or, this could simply be break time on the movie set of:
“Dr. Buttlove, or,”
How I Learned To Stop Clenching
and Love the Plug”
Let’s see what you got, you turkey-bloated Nepos…
Preparation H
On his abs, but after “her”?
On his bleeding bung**
— Ich verstehe sie ist heiß
** – “Bleeding Bung = great band name -D.S.
A “Douchebag 300,
Strange sensation in my pants,
I love perky boobs.
— Bag A
Her tits never move
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Those are not pasties.
That’s deadly Black Nip Disease.
They’ll both be dead soon.
— Mr. White
Free range breasts ride high
whilst hope for humanity
is brought down to nigh
— Morbo
the newest villians
in the next DarkKnight saga
Dongtastic Duo
— creature
Friday, November 18, 2011Friday Haiku
Kate fights the Power;
But Bruce and Jeff just want to
Occupy Ball-Meat.
Spelling “blood” with hands
Is from Compton, Sir Lilly-White
Not Danville, you douche
— saulgoode42
Nancy Dreuche poses
With brothers Emo and
Emo. Uterus sags.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Tommy pays the price
For fingering the goth skank.
Yeast infected hands.
— hermit
Twi-tards get in line
early for latest Twilight
trash. All on Team Douche.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
You have Beiber hair,
and flash gang signs, but the
A/V club is lame
— Ferris
Nepos nepos nep
Nepos nepos nepos *nep*
Nepos nepos nep
— Nancy Dreuche
We’re misunderstood!
‘Cuz we’re deep, and dark, and hurt
Black is the new blah.
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Pixies cover band.
Backstage yields sanctuary.
Thrown beer bottles hurt.
— Baron Von Goolo
“Dad! Christmas portraits
are cheesy!”, whines the spawn of
Baron Von Goolo
Friday Haiku
For her big ol’ rack
I would bail on Moose as well;
“Clean-up on Aisle Boobs…”
A Your Mom Necklace
Hovering over those boobs
Means Gogurt target.
— Mandouchian Candidate
I, too, am sorry
Sorry I can see your face
Moose Diesel’s boyfriend.
— Wedgie
No worries; he’ll be
swilling “Moose Diesel” later
with other broheims
— Wheezer
Her boobs are so hot
They can fog up the glasses
On douchebag’s shirt
— ehcuodouche
A “Your Mom” necklace?
Who wants to think of their mom
When making yogurt?
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Friday, November 4, 2011Friday Haiku
Ladies Love Larry;
His shirt emblazoned with his taint,
Balls a’dangling!
A study in poor taste
his shirt and the girls’ outfits
‘Hookers with Stupid’
— idfma
triangle of poon
T-shirt of unholy taint
chlamydia burns
— SonnyChibaChoad
So Anne Coulter, Rick
Sanchez and Dana Perino
Walk into a bar…
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
For him, Viagra
For them, some Estrogen pills
Welcome to the Pharm.
— Wedgie
Forty Somethings;
Fake tits and stool softener
Occupy Vegas!
— Mandouchian Candidate
“look inside my chest,
there lies the beating heart of
a hermaphrodite”
— creature
The bleeths are so old
They were Sinatra groupies
Douchie, douchie, doo
— Doucheywallnuts
Friday Haiku sucks
Only regs haikus posted
Darksock has nepos
— lurker_douche
I pick funny ones
To adorn the front page, dude.
You’re the exception.
Friday Haiku
“How for show, Yankee???
Two een steenk, I sheet my pants;
Feef-teen rubles, pleeze…”
Blondie tribute band
Cannot sing the song ‘Rapture’
Creates depression.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Wiktor and Ivan
Hustlers with nothing to sell
Except their sisters
— saulgoode42
don’t move hair from eyes
you’ll see your arms are around
duckface a l’orange
— Douche Springsteen
Vodka, abortions
Despair, depression, Roofies
Russian Douchebags Rule!
— DoucheyWallnuts
Hey, Amërïkä
Comrade Krüschëv’s words ring true:
“We will bury you!”
— Hermit
Blondie holds on tight
Ivan and Boris are set
Roofies break girls’ will
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
When Nadja downs her
Fifty-eighth vodka and pukes
Levity breaks out.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Friday, October 21, 2011Friday Haiku
“Hi! We are your hosts!
Welcome to Abs n’ Crabs, Sir;
Care to see our groins?”
Muscle Man’s tattoo
Reads, “Please help pull up my pants”
Peg pees down own leg
— saulgoode42
Stumpy likes his groin
Bleeth wants some cock action now!
Looks in her own pants.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Amir runs from scene
Allergic reaction to
Preparation H
— Vin Douchal
The Groin Shave Reveal
Combined with Short Man’s Syndrome
Results in Douchebag
— DoucheyWallnuts
Phallus barely hid,
Nipples weep in Mandarin
For the shame of man
— Ponderonymous
She finds the meaning
of “Ancient Chinese Secret”
he has no penis.
— Medusa Oblongata
Were his legs shrunk by
‘roids or Preparation H?
Brain’s still water-logged.
— Wheezer
Friday, October 14, 2011Friday Haiku
The blouse parted wide,
To display gorgeous bronzed breasts;
Hers aren’t bad either…
Kettlehead returns
With Waxy McBrow’s Rachelle
Time to kill myself.
— Mr. Scrotato Head
El Rico Suavé,
Blouse-busting hero for the
juiced up pendehoes.
— The Dude
Now there’s quite a shelf!
Their protrusion defies all.
I mean physics laws.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Youngest of the clan,
Kunty Kardashian is
Video ready.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
“Why are you grabbing
me,” says Kate. “And since when do
Valets wear D-necks?”
— Sergeant Scrote Stain
Friday, October 7, 2011Friday Haiku
“Put a ring on it”
The girls told them; what they got
Were Jeff’s ringworm sores.
Twister after an
Olean chip and Kool-Aid binge?
Bad idea, Girlfriends…
— DarkSock
Team Twister’s up next
But had to change their name from
Team Sister Fister
— saulgoode42
“Dude, it will be sweet!”
“Twister? I barely know her.”
“You misunderstand . . .”
— Douche Wayne
Rather than draped
in plastic, these guys should be
sealed tight in plastic
— idfma
Twister spots? No, kids.
I hate to break it to you
They’re giant herpes.
— Medusa Oblongata
Blonde can do better
I know a game we can play
Her chute, my ladder.
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Bandana guy looks
Stunned. That isn’t nail polish!
Hey you! Smell my finger.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
choose a coloured spot
make a provocative pick
push fist up brown spot
— creature
A Purple Nurple
Better known as Tit Twister
Would be best result
— Vin Douchal
Bleeths and douchebags preen
Twister twisted forever
Milton Bradley weeps.
— soy bomb
Twister™ gave me my first
erection; these twits ruined
a nice memory.
— The Dude
A porch beef sandwich
Made with fresh douchebag herp bread
Kills the appetite
— Doucheywallnuts
Mack and Stephano
Enter 2 Man Bronado;
STD D’jour
— Mandouchian Candidate
Friday, September 30, 2011Friday Haiku
Those of you aroused
Will be crushed to realize
This is my peen’s tip…
It is rare indeed
When meat curtains meet curtains
Smiles all around
— saulgoode42
Shrink wrapped ground ass chuck
Begs “Poke a hole with your thumb”
Like child at market.
— johnny applesack
gentle smiling butt
supple under smiling sheets
waiting for my peen.
— Troy Tempest
Fenny’s butt-cover
Does not fool a connoisseur
One-of-a-kind ass
— Wedgie
Hidden behind sheet
Round supple buttocks fart
In timid repose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Smiley faces; you’d smile too
If you were there
Up against that Pear
— Chris in ‘Baghdad
a hint of ass pear
wizard behind the curtain
enough here to fap?
— Douche Springsteen
You may be turned on
But will become nauseous;
This is a front view
— DoucheyWallnuts
R.E.M. gave us
“happy, shiney people”. She
gives I.O.B. cramp.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Smiley faced curtain
my cock would tear right through you
into glorious pear
— Mandouchian Candidate
During the drug raid,
The D.E.A agent asks,
“Where’d you hide the crack?”
— hermit
Friday, September 23, 2011Friday Haiku
In a perfect world,
This asshole would don a shirt;
Preferably hers.
I would name her breasts
As Fat Man and Little Boy.
I’d like to drop them.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
No shirt, a bow tie.
That’s a look that never works.
Unless it’s on her.
— FoghornLeghorn
Always campaigning.
Michelle Bachmann Junior tries
To pray away gay.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Mahogany gimp,
freezes clubland (and tailors),
with basilisk stare.
— The e’er-present Anonymous
Chippendales reject,
Angers Swayze and Farley,
Afterlife ruined.
— Condouchious
Holy Chest Muffins.
They could save you from drowning.
Or drown you as well.
— jonezy
Prom poster was clear
In bold print “Black tie AND tails”
Not “Black tie and fails”
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Sweaty cuff on wrist
Don’t ask where that thing has been
And do not smell it
— Vin Douchal
