Friday Haiku
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Friday, April 29, 2011
Friday Haiku
Pumped Vegas Doucheclown ,
Fondles double shots of pear,
Future turds abound.
What’s it gonna take
For me to get you into
A used butt today?
— saulgoode42
Got one pear, two pear
Red pear, pooh pear. Now me need
To get protein drink and ‘roids.
— Wedgie
Here is an Abstain.
And while he may refrain from
voting, I vote Choad!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Captain Ben Dover
inspects troops for proper hygiene.
Snorts off butt nuggets.
— Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
Four round cheeks, one turd.
Somebody get me the Vim.
The bowl smells of Roids.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Why is it he lord?
Who gets to fondle the pair?
I have camouflage?
— Claude Douchenbagger
Friday, April 22, 2011Friday Haiku
Homie Ralph watches,
As strippers enact story,
Of America.
Here we see rendered
The heart-rending narrative
Of Poke-n-Hump-Ass
— DarkSock
Red feather squeals, no!
As “walks for doughnuts” watches
Please scalp me quickly
— Master Pee
Ralph strokes his short cue
Eight ball in corner pocket
Indians mess with his game
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
VInce Neil, on the left,
proves that it’s better to burn
out than fade away
— Mr. White
Many moons ago,
A tax-free casino rose
Sasquatch bought a shirt
— saulgoode42
First our land. Now our
hotts. Get lousy casino
as reparations?
— Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
Ralph looks like he stole
a samurai’s bamboo breast-
plate…no, he’s just fat.
— idfma
Friday, April 15, 2011Friday Haiku
Pukey Flower Douche,
David Bowie Pin looks on,
As Hott Jenn gets grabbed.
I’d like to shtup Jenn.
Even if awkwardly so –
Dry hump at the bar
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Izzy Stradlin’ douche
plays guitar no more. Finger
growth from Axl’s pud?
— Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
Jenn checks his package
Finds a half roll of breath mints
Tommie Lee he ain’t
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Young Ellen Barkin
Hott likes to be slutty. Tongue
Fung is not her bag.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
“Want some whipped butter?”
“Um, no, but can I speak to
the manager, please?”
— Mr. White
You are auto-douche,
let me count the ways: dog tags,
sunglasses inside
wristdanna, death tongue,
mandanna, douche hand gesture,
and bowie button.
— the douche is alright
Friday, April 8, 2011Friday Haiku
Jack Surfkovsky pwns
Hotts at the “Fast Five” premiere,
Shows them “Lil’ Diesel.”
Johnny Bravo clone
gets “charged” standing next to hotts.
“Discharge” shows on shorts.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Hotts smile two thumbs up
Old man yells “Get off my Lawn”
Jack walks home alone.
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
That’s a nice car Jack
Nothing says “I am not gay”
like a Ford Focus
— Jacques Doucheteau
Hotted-up Polo,
makes Chad happy, ’til ladies
look under his hood.
— Colossus of Choads
These PTP hotts
definitely “charged” Jack, on
his momma’s Visa.
— Mr. White
Jelly Dong Shifter
Mounted on the driver’s seat
With 5-point strap on.
— DarkSock
Just because you put
Your monster drink on top does
Not mean you own it.
— ehcuodouche
Friday, April 1, 2011Friday Haiku
Spring Break woo girls, “Woo!”
Heathen Joe crosses the line,
Kelly’s butt: fondled.
Future researchers
Will study this choad’s dried pelt
Like the Dead Sea Scrolls
— Wedgie
What is proper greet?
Look him in eyes? Or read face?
Confounds Ms Manners!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Ahab stands in crowd
Watching Queequeg hunt Hotties
Moby Dick style
— jonezy
Who’s more desperate?
The girls with daddy issues
Or me for looking?
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Douche Maul is confused
Can’t remember which virgin
He left his sleeze in
— saulgoode42
Tatooed wanker dude
Ponders “Ass the other white meat”
Acid trip for skin
— Douchetastic Sam
Sometimes, when “raging
‘gainst the dying of the light”,
you should just give up.
— collossus of choads
Friday, March 25, 2011Friday Haiku
Vegan fun and games,
Jake’s cabbage smells like lettuce,
Cindy swears off meat.
Rebecca Romaine,
she’s not, but I’d still garnish
her with creamy ranch.
— Wheezer
I would not worry
About animal or plant
These two have fungi
— Dude McCrudeshoes
Someone’s chip-and-dip
was violated by Jake’s
hairway to heaven.
— Mr. White
Waiter, I believe
I ordered some pear in this
salad not crushed nuts.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
New Age catheter
And toxin-free beast milk pumps
Home based business bust
— Vin Douchal
Adam Sandler tests
for his next big waste of film:
It’s Little Dicky
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Friday, March 18, 2011Friday Haiku
Prongs of New Orleans,
Mutant Douchewank Jazz Fest,
Kelly’s thinking, “Prick!”
Hi. I have money.
Woo-hoo! I like guys with cash!!
Let me touch your ass.
— saulgoode42
Jurassic Park 4:
Revenge of The Asian Club
Hermaphrasaurus.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Kelly pulls Prong’s tie.
Now loop it in ceiling fan
And hang that sum bitch
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Oooze left behind by
Low tide of humanity
Douchageddon looms
— Dude McCrudeshoes
Job at Home Depot
Won’t happen if they see this
On her facebook page
— Vin Douchal
With most makeup off,
we learn that Ace Frehley was
hotter than we thought.
— Mr. White
Mardi Gras douchebags
Laissez les bon temps rouler
Right over hotness
— fidouchiary responsibility
Sin. Debauchery.
Four Prong flies his flag. The flag
That will taint her pooch.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Blinded by the prong,
Both his nuzzle of drunk blonde,
And stab to the eye
— Condouchious
Friday, March 11, 2011Friday Haiku
Rocket Man gets old,
Gaybag exemption granted,
Near Celebupear.
Kim Kardashian.
Rich and famous. Should have been
Nothing but fluffer.
-The Reverend Chad Kroeger
And someone saved my
life tonight…with her sex tape
and her giant butt.
-Mr. White
Hear “The Bitch is Back”?
Well he ain’t singin’ it, Son.
He just mumbled it.
-Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Saturday night may
be all right for fightin’, but
not with Father Time.
-Wheezer
Pear molded from clay
Like the Kabbal’s great Golem
Elton squeaks bean fart
-Vin Douchal
Kim loves Elton John
Her dad says he was cool. John
thinks she’s a waitress.
-Mr. Scrotato Head
Friday Haiku
“Why’s it smell rank?,” said,
Brad’s talking belly button,
But no one noticed.
Wrong ones are topless;
removal of bikinis
results in…..”paint lines”?
— Wheezer
Brad’s love life on hold,
Suffers from rare STD.
Intestinal crabs.
— Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders
Painted Goddesses
Next to Painted Fools and Trolls
No one is WINNING.
— jonezy
Those two black chest lines
Aren’t really fake suspenders
Just giant skid marks
— saulgoode42
I’ll have white Russian
Use extra boobie milk please
But no body paint
— Dude McCrudeshoes
Big Al’s Body Shop:
After we lube your rear end,
We’ll paint your bumpers!
— Hermit
Friday, February 25, 2011Friday Haiku
It’s…. Billy the Pudd!!
Blocks pic of almost sapphos.
God slays a puppy.
Pee-Wee Hairless-Man,
Pubis smooth as Porsche’s bonnet,
hence the fractal shorts.
— collossus of choads
Tri Delta sisters
Do community service
With brain-dead patients
— Hong Kong Douchey
This douche wants your love
His daddy was a jerk so…
Now we have to pay.
— That one girl I met awhile back
Bandanna Barry
Wears Gi-normous Douche Goggles
Somebody smite him!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Brokeback Mountain Jeb
has no interest in sisters;
prefers time with bros.
— Wheezer
leopard ‘kini hott
siezes my full attention
big top in my pants
— creature
CBS is proud
to announce the new star of
Two and a Half Men.
— Mr. White
