Friday Haiku
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Friday, February 11, 2011
Friday Haiku
Somewhere in Peru,
An Ancient Mayan Chief,
Misses his fish spears.
Hey, what time is it?
Let us check the sundial:
oh, it’s way past fail.
— Wheezer
Time to meet her folks,
Spikes of blond atop his head,
Purple hair, despairs.
— Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders
Fair warning, children:
NEVER stick your fingers in
electric outlets.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
He thinks he’s a Smooth
Criminal. She knows that he
cries during Oprah.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Purple and spike hair
For bad 80’s cover band
Club refunds cover
— Vin Douchal
Friday, February 4, 2011Friday Haiku
New Rule: “Hawk Bites Pear”
Now in “Rock Paper Scissors,”
To sell to the kids.
“Mmagic World” ass pear
does not deserve rabies-filled
bite from gay bat hawk.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Jen kept yelling “SCAT!!!”
But that’s the wrong thing to say
To horny Germans.
— DarkSock
Cali on his neck?
Please let San Andreas slip,
dump him in ocean.
— Wheezer
A word to the wise
never bite the ass that feeds
this guy craves the poop
— Medusa Oblongata
Recent parolee
Assuming the position
His bunkmate preferred
— Vin Douchal
I could use Shark’s head
As a front-door shoe scraper
For this damn winter!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Sharkbag sees shadow,
Six weeks of unemployment,
What then, Taco Bell?
— Rockabilly Johnny and the Electric Foreskin Benders
Friday, January 28, 2011Friday Haiku
Blonde Hermoine
Parties with “Hipster Potter,”
Comicon just sucks.
Slytherin house goes
for soft pastels and scarves this
year. Tim Gun shouts “Yeah!”
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
News for you Hipster
“Free Tibet” bumper sticker
Is made in China
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Green silk pants, hipster hat,
Bogus scarf and bizarre tatt,
Still bags blonde with frozen smile
— Chris in ‘Baghdad
Knob-Gobbler of Fire,
he likes Chamber of Seacrest
and head, he swallows.
— Wheezer
Tag team beat poets
Ruining open mic night
With clove scented smokes
— Vin Douchal
“Hottus Attractum!”
“Hipsterbagus Nochanceus!”
“Dejecto Choadum…”
— Deltus
She smiles warmly,
hoping he’ll shut the f up
about foreign films.
— Mr. White
Friday, January 21, 2011Friday Haiku
The Choad Warrior,
Macks on Latina Tina,
Busts leather “jazz hands.”
Spike Hair Pasty Douche
Master Illusionist makes
Pride Disappear fast
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
Beyond Chunderdome,
Gel Gibson channels Jacko,
waits for her li’l bro.
— Wheezer
It’s hard to look seri-
ous, or mean with a tinted
windshield on your face
— Anonymous
Safety Harness at
Hip; hold tight tiny Tina,
For magic explosion
— Luis Douchuel
Blue streak punk bleeth likes
Nic Cage “Valley Girl” dressed Douchebags
I miss the Eighties
— The Fourth Horseman of the Douchepocalypse
quit taco bueno
now magician’s assistant
regrets decision
— paperorplastic
80s retro douche
Needs magic to impress hotts
You’re Terminated.
— Blair
Elliot Zimet:
Make one glove disappear from
Caucasian “Jacko”
— dknutty
Friday, January 14, 2011Friday Haiku
In search of no water,
Whobag jumpoffs plague one’s soul,
Hark! Some not gotten.
His best pickup line:
“Do you like your poultry fried?”
Don’t fall for it, girls.
— Wedgie
Stack will be trolling
FSU dorms ’til forty;
GET SOME dignity!
— Wheezer
Did his shirt start out
with giant man-load splatter,
or was it added?
— Mr. White
When will science be
able to explain how Stack
missed Darwinism?
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
found source of strange sound
puppies chew on table leg
Frank, help me out here
— Medusa Oblongata
Looks like Gilligan
Found Maryann and Ginger
Of the cocaine crowd
— Vin Douchal
Friday, January 7, 2011Friday Haiku
Water Pistol Pete,
Discount DJ in Des Moines,
mocks God’s boobie pride.
Wannabe DJ,
Grabs pistol to rob a bank,
A sperm bank that is
— Condouchious
Abomination
Offensive in the Lord’s sight:
Birds drop from the sky.
— Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser
DJ Hep-C Screen:
“Death to King Douchuous IV!”
God save her tatas
— Blinded by the Shite
Blue/white striped boobies
look like shiny wax fruit; I’ll
bet they jiggle less.
— Wheezer
Asian boob gal says:
“See my chest, see my chest, please!”
DJ Scene, not heard
— saulgoode42
Vanilla Ice Scrote –
Squirt Gun does not compensate
for your small package
— dknutty
Vanilla Lice sneers
Displaying the twin horrors:
Chest shave/treasure trail.
— Redouche-Reooze-Repsycho
Friday, October 29, 2010Friday Haiku
Greased Lubey Douche
Freud says: Thumb phallic trauma,
Lana abandoned.
Not what I meant by
will you go down on me Sheila?
but she gives good thumb
— Eliza Douchecoo
The douchebag dentist,
Looking for a decayed tooth,
But, extracts her soul.
— Devon Wheatcakes
White Leather Matches
On Pedros belt and wrist, but
Lana, too much teeth
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
A fan of salad.
Fedora likes his tossed. No
Mayo just oil.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Reminders of the
Gulf disaster. But for them,
“BP” means “butt plug.”
— Wheezer
I got a hat yo
bandanna on the neck check
seven foot of poo
— wonderdouche twin
Had no idea
F. Murray Abraham was
A gutter urchin.
— boatbutter
He misunderstood,
When the brunette told him,
“I want your digits.”
— scrotum pole
Friday, October 22, 2010Friday Haiku
“Make a Wish” for Ronald,
Fakes lupus to live the dream
Giggle Hotts pay rent.
Jim’s first cruise to Greece
Stopped at Lesbos Isle
It did not end well
— Wedgie
Too much cash on skirts,
not enough for hallway lights;
try hundred-watt bulbs.
— Wheezer
A Clockwork Orange.
Pink has torn down the wall, and
Changed name to Umber.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Everyone should know
You put the fuccen hinges
Inside the damn door.
— Crucial Head
Money costumes say
“If you’re spendy, I’m bendy”
Lolipop’s no charge
— saulgoode42
Psychoanalyze
Lollipop and skirts of cash
Flushes tuition
— Vin Douchal
Friday, October 15, 2010Friday Haiku
Pap Pap’s Lil’ Girl,
Chooses life of selling pear,
To Sleazy Ryder.
Eyes Wide Shut Hott finds
Guy more douchey than Tom Cruise:
Mission Possible.
— Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser
Two more months stripping
Will have enough saved up to
Finish glute implants
— Vin Douchal
Barry drops 2 Large
For the chance to pose with Hott
Two months Kmart pay!!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Did Pap Pap tap tap?
She makes me wanna fap fap;
safer than clap clap.
— Wheezer
Pap Pap’s Salty Tears
Can’t Wash Away Stench Of Her
Mom and Dad’s Failure
— MC 900 Foot Douchebag
Winter is looming.
Business not booming. John
Boy saves for his tatt.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
“Grunge is still valid!”
Insists flannel-wearing choad
Gosh it’s hot in here.
— Douche Wayne
When your forearm tatt
Is how you identify
Your life is empty
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Friday, October 8, 2010Friday Haiku
A ‘stache, a bourbon,
A young girl’s buttocks fondled,
By Snidely Liprash.
One has to think she
Could do better than the lost
Mario Brother.
— The Goob the Bag and the Pudly
Boris Bagenov
goes home alone; smells like moose,
hung like a squirrel.
— Wheezer
Ripe chestnuts tainted,
Jesus bling and Ron Burgundy,
Tom Selleck only weeps.
— Scroto Baggins
Mina grinds her teeth
Fatty Rollie Fingers Gropes
Humanity Weeps
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
Salvador Dali’s
Grandson, “Vic” chews through beaver
Just like it was wood
— saulgoode42
Jimmy Hoffa’s Grave
Not in Crimson Hott’s Cleavage
Back off Geraldouche!
— dknutty
you do not pass go
instead directly to jail
Monopoly man
— paperorplastic
