Friday Haiku
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Friday, October 4, 2013
Friday Haiku
Larry and Gary
Made sex tapes with their girlfriends.
Y’all did it all wrong…
I wish government
Shutdown closed places like this
And killed these people
— DoucheyWallnuts
Penis magic show
Goes horribly wrong when they
Reveal what is taped
— Capt. James T. Douche
Before sending prey to
Carousel. The girls tease the reds
With booby action.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
I’ll bet 10 bucks these
douches are clueless about
Wendy O. Williams.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Milkman convention’s
most popular seminar.
Handling milk jugs.
— Magnum Douche P. I.
This Douche/Bleeth round up
Drunken Vegas Rorschach test
I see seven boobs
— Vin Douchal
I see two fake boobs.
Aside from that, those girls have
Silicone titties.
— Jacques Doucheteau
Meat curtains get stretched
When tape clothing is removed
Enough to make tent
— DoucheyWallnuts
The tape gets removed
And silicone funbags fall.
Put the tape back on!
— The Dude
Friday, September 27, 2013Friday Haiku
Her Sweet Emulsion;
Back-door boogie, wang on fire…
The Rabbit done died
Post-Apocalypse
‘Fright Rabbit’ wants to put his
Phallus in Alice
— saulgoode42
Oktoberfest not
fun when g scope inserted
in furry rabbit.
— Dickie Fingers
This here has to be
What Porch Beef is made out of
Well, rancid Porch Beef.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
His Rabbitosis
Can’t match her Halitosis
Or Twatitosis
— DoucheyWallnuts
Watership Down was
never the same after Rev
Chad’s gardening trip.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Who Framed the Rabbit?
Alice in Blunderland is
The prime candidate.
— The Dude
PCP laced Trix
cereal. A good part of
a complete breakfast
— Magnum Douche P. I.
In the race of life
rhinestone sternum turtles beat
rabbit for the win
— Charles Douchewin
Down the rabbit hole
takes on new meaning with them
German porn is weird
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Now following the
Rabbit down the hole really
Means sloppy seconds
— Jacques Doucheteau
It puts the chick in
The basket or it gets the
Hose. The Hassen hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Friday, September 20, 2013Friday Haiku
Unearthed M. Jackson;
Busted for Necrophelia…
“Bro…You even Dig?”
Is that Janet or
Latoya? Either way Joe
Demands his money!
— Capt. James T. Douche
“Stop posing with the
Mannequins! Get back to work!”
Champ’s boss is pissed off.
— Charles Nelson Douchely
It puts the Afro
In the basket or it gets
The hose, Jeri hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Mr. Chump calls it
being a real ladies’ man
Cops charge with pimping
— Magnum Douche P. I.
If you take the time
to match shoelaces and shirt
you know you’re a douche.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Mr Champ is the
Afterbirth from Kurtis Blow
And Teena Marie
— DoucheyWallnuts
The gyroscope goes
In her monkeyhole or she
Goes in the basket.
— The Dude
Mr. Champ tries his
luck at the wax museum
Now bored with FleshLight™
— Jacques Doucheteau
Camel Toe Jackson
not as well known as Michael
scores some midget ass
— Dickie Fingers
Friday, September 13, 2013Friday Haiku
Yeah, he lifts “muscles”;
“Bro, do you even pull it”?
Fans of Muscle Milk…
Ultra-size Shake Weight™
used in training for Garrett’s
pud wack marathon
— Jacques Doucheteau
Should’nt the sign say:
MuscleBag? There is not much
Honesty these days.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Charles Atlas’ great niece
kicks sand in pud’s face all day
long. And he likes it.
— UFO Destroyers
Fake weight, fake boobies
The only thing real in this
pic is the despair
— Magnum Douche P. I.
World Championship
Hawaiian muscle fu**ing
Win a pearl necklace
— Dude McCrudeshoes
She leaks Olestra
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
She has more muscles
in her abs than he has in
his entire body.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
More than one dumbbell
Is in this picture. That one
Was way too easy…
— DoucheyWallnuts
Friday, September 6, 2013Friday Haiku
It’s now Big Chief’s turn;
Make White Man see strewn trash, cry
Salty Fuccen Tears
It puts the cheap beer
In the basket or it gets
The hose. The spew hose.
***
She don’t do rain dance
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
This is one War Dance
That makes me ejaculate
Into my loin cloth
— DoucheyWallnuts
The Grieco spirit
Has come, after eating bad
Peyote buttons.
— Capt. James T. Douche
Lost Boys dance party
Tinkerbell let herself go
twerks in Pan’s face. Son.
— Douche Wayne
Now I can see why
Native Americans find
this shit offensive.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Friday, August 30, 2013Friday Haiku
Merv the accountant
Decides “Why life insurance
If you don’t live some?”*
*note – the ‘Sock is getting cavity searched by the TSA at the airport today because his neck titanium keeps setting off the metal detectors so it may be a while before I post the front page winners. Deal with it.
Friday, August 23, 2013Friday Haiku
It’s Douche vs. Douche;
As they bomb each other’s shorts
I buy Jan a drink.
Faux Denim swim togs
And presence of douchebag spies
Have killed my renoB
— DoucheyWallnuts
What, me worry? These
Two are more interested
In each others goods
— Capt. James T. Douche
Her Heckle don’t Jeckle
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Can’t Show our Faces
Angry Bleethes Looking For Us
Paternity Tests
— Bag Em Tag Em
“I don’t like these masks”
“Yeah, me neither. Makes it hard
to blow each other.”
— Jacques Doucheteau
These blokes need a cloak
While I stick my meat dagger
In her booby trap.
— Crucial Head
Just came from grade school;
undersides of those cones read:
“D-U-N-C-E”
— Wheezer
Friday Pearku™ is
The best idea I’ve heard
Since toilet paper.**
— The Dude
**^@ The Dude…Noted.
-D.S.
Friday, August 16, 2013Friday Haiku
That ridin’ toy there?
Benz rents hourly. He also
Rents that jet ski, too.
Beachcomber looks out
Keeping the sand free from trash.
You missed a spot, bro…
— Tits McGee
As I have told you
It won’t move on the beach. Now
Get of the jet ski.
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
Not sure why he has
a life jacket on. It’s well
known that turds will float.
— Magnum Douche P. I.
She don’t get seasick
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Bleeth is so low rent
He’s Jet Ski-ing her instead
Of Motor boating
— DoucheyWallnuts
E.P.A. finds new
oil spill at sea. B.P. ? No,
from Benzino’s hair.
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Katie decides to
ride something going nowhere
Then hops on jet ski
— Jacques Doucheteau
Crews out chumming the
water anticipating
best Shark Week ever.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Thursday, August 8, 2013Friday Haiku
Yo, son, check Biff out;
He’s the meat in a Hotwich;
By “meat” I mean “poo”.
*Mooo* So fµ¢kïñg what?
They ordered bottle service
Ingredients: Grain.
— Crücial Heæd
Pregnancy dresses
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
I had the renoB
Until I realized that girl
Has my Mom’s haircut
— DoucheyWallnuts
Husky Iowa girls
will do things most girls will not
do. Like mow your lawn.
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Vinnie’s first night out
of jail finds big blondes with bowl
cuts. Prison seems O.K.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Lane Bryant models
need to get their douche on too
Biff takes one for team
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Friday, August 2, 2013Friday Haiku
One thing about Trish
That I can share with you is
She really loves head.
Wait, which one of the
Village People are you? The
Hydrocephalic?
— Capt. James T. Douche
His Mom’s vagina
Looks like the Holland Tunnel
It’s real big, I says
— DoucheyWallnuts
Jim finds out the hard
way the buffet shrimp cocktail
were cooked in their shells.
— Douche Wayne
Mr. Potato Head
And Chastity Bono go
Wild for Halloween.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Rocky Dennis blows
all Mask film rights cash on goose
at da clubs. Cher weeps.
— Magnum Douche P. I.
It’s OK Jill. All
West Virginian clubs allow
inbred bros as dates.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
OshKosh B’Gosh are
the new trend this year for those
who get pooped upon
— Jacques Doucheteau
