Friday Haiku
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Friday, July 26, 2013
Friday Haiku
Captain Rod Nubbins
Keeps flotation devices
Nearby at all times.
Circling the globe
Whilst encircled by the globes
Is the way to go
— DoucheyWallnuts
The question arises,
“does silicone float?”,
let’s sink the boat!
— I R A Darth Aggie
Their boobs are like the
Costa Concordia hull
scraping the bottom
— Dickie Fingers
modern day skipper
with mary ann and ginger
hose on the poop deck
— fm
It’s now obvious
where Carnival Cruise Lines gets
infected state rooms.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Girls do Lido Deck
Since the gyroscope was put
In their Monkey Holes.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Friday, July 19, 2013Friday Haiku
She thinks that he’s hot
Because Nitrous Oxide is
A hell of a drug.
His mission was to
make that denim vest look cool
Mission Status: Fail
— Charles Nelson Douchely
Plate glass clouds the view.
If you really want relief,
Try opaque glass next.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
This Boy Band reject
Still mourning what could have been
In 1990
— DoucheyWallnuts
“Off to the rave, Mom”
“Wait! I’ll help you get dressed up”
“You’re the coolest, Mom”
— Vin Douchal
Friday, July 12, 2013Friday Haiku
Sexy Claudia
Is still the biggest fan of
crooner K.D. Lang
Friday, July 5, 2013Friday Haiku
He’s written a script;
An autobiography
Called “Homey Alone”.
Man cannot live on
Tight abs and great boobs alone
But it’s a good start
— DoucheyWallnuts
Macaulay Culkin
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
— Rev Chad F’n iPhone
Her tits are furry
His tits are shaven so clean
They scare Culken stick
— The Dude
her look says it all
will finally get Big-O
home alone dildo
— creature
She shaves her llama
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Friday, June 21, 2013Friday Haiku
Guido Sir-Douchey,
Against the Laws Of Nature,
Won these Golden Globes.
Zoot Suit Menachem
Heidi Klum Hot regrets her
J-Date decision
— Bag em, Tag em
It puts the glasses
In the basket or it gets
The hose. Heidi-hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
The sunken chest look
is making a big come back
nice glasses douchebag
— Dick Lingers
The pith helmet says
“brave explorer” but the shoes
say “steam room valet.”
— Douche Wayne
The Clit Whisperer
Soon, on the Oprah channel
Check local listings
— Vin Douchal
Swifty Lazar called
He wants his eye glasses back
But not the white suit
— DoucheyWallnuts
Hiding in his pants
creepy has two young Thai boys
rubbing him with oil
— Magnum Douche P. I.
his Bar Mitzvah suit
is perfect for new career
Tel Aviv doorman
— creature
Friday, June 14, 2013Friday Haiku
Kim’s in denial,
But her friends all know the deal…
She’s a Panda-phile.
Hook Ups with Panda
Sex Life is sadly boring
He eats, “shoots” and leaves.
— Bag em, Tag em
Well, they talked about
Bearing Ass. Dave was unclear.
Showed up as Ass Bear.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
It puts the furry
In the basket or it gets
The hose. The bear hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Chastity Bono
Became Chaz Bono. And now
Is Panda Bono
— DoucheyWallnuts
Friday, June 7, 2013Friday Haiku
Seth found a hooker
So he could make his sex tape.
Seth’s quite literal.
Raggedy Andy
Tried to replace Anne’s stuffing;
taped up monkey hole.
— Douche Wayne
She looks groovy but
I wonder if the carpet
Matches the tape. Son.
— The Dude
what Seth does not know
that it takes two rolls of tape
to plug her bung hole
— creature
The strip club from TRON
Is so much less appealing
when the lights are on
— Charles Douchewin
She wears the pasties
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
“What to wear tonight?”
Trixie axed herself. “I know!”
“Where’s that roll of tape?”
— DoucheyWallnuts
Seth will learn too late
that tape is often used by
pre-surg transgenders
— Jacques Doucheteau
Friday, May 31, 2013Friday Haiku
Pauly can’t D.J.
Since the Coors Umbrella was
Fused to his neck-bones
Blonde mom brings her new
beau’s adult kids to the beach
Pauly cuckolds dad.
— Douche Wayne
Skull tits has big schnozz
since her face hit the windshield
best done from behind
— Dickie Fingers
Interfaith bat mit-
zvahs a big hit with
Coors Light sponsorship.
— UFO Destroyers
Girl has cleft palate
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Her boob says love kills
But love has a little help
From hepatitis
— Dude McCrudeshoes
Pauly D’s five head
like an IMAX movie screen
for sign of the bag
— Magnum Douche P.I.
Dark Sock recovers
From surgery. Haiku waits
The man is Narcos.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
I just woke up from
Lortab haze…O yeah, Haiuku
Fight thruoegh the Buzz. SOn.
— DarkSaosk
Thursday, May 23, 2013Friday Haiku
Todd found out he was
Silicone Intolerant
When the seizure struck.
Don’t you worry, Todd
I have just the paddle to
Get through those mountains.
— The Dude
Someone pissed in the
Goose, Bobby Bottleservice
Took a big ol’ swig
— Capt. James T. Douche
Trish moved to LA
with starlet dreams. Now: Vegas
Selling Goose. Damn Shame.
— HCwDBnyc
Party scene, nightlife
Detritus of the human
Condition. With booze
— DoucheyWallnuts
She likes the hipsters
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
The coat he’s wearing
matches the one on his tongue:
both “Members Only.”
— Wheezer
Friday, May 17, 2013Friday Haiku
“Sorry, we don’t stock
Tuxedos for Gorillas…”
Wears shirt to wedding
Anthony never
got off that inflatable
sumo wrasslin’ suit.
— Douche Wayne
Bridal registry
For these two is at Walgreen’s
Pharmacy counter
— DoucheyWallnuts
Peter Pumpin’s arms
now too short to wipe his ass
Scent of poo lingers
— Magnum Douche P.I.
The reception was
Elegantly catered by
Twin Labs and MetRx
— Capt. James T. Douche
They spent beaucoup bucks
on getting Nipsey Russell
to officiate.
— Douche Wayne
Their genitals shrink
Whilst other body parts grow
Naked, horror show
— DoucheyWallnuts
I now pronounce you…
Umm… Err… I now pronounce you…
Congrats both of you (nervous laughter)
— Capt. James T. Douche
The clink of empty
Synthol vials was heard from
Behind their Hyundai
— Capt. James T. Douche
Don’t worry Peter
Your new wife understands the
pain of losing balls.
— Shaft Junk
Her penis don’t move
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
