Friday Haiku
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Friday, May 10, 2013
Friday Haiku
Jim Bob suffered from
Alopecia of the chest;
It drove him to drink.
Rolling a fatty
Now means something different
Than it used to mean
Na mean?
— DoucheyWallnuts
He shaves his manboobs
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Years of busting through
walls reduced Kool-Aid Guy to
mental four year old.
— Douche Wayne
Indian princess
stay away from the crab cakes
of D. B. Sasquatch
— FredN.
Hott prepares to roll
Shamu back to his blue sea
As his shock sets in
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Show me your landing
strip, I’ll show you mine, said Chuck.
Not a chance said Kim
— Magnum Douche P. I.
The evils of the demon rum,
causes you to pass out,
and get your chest shaved poorly.
— I R A Darth Aggie
Friday, May 3, 2013Friday Haiku
She pulled his finger;
There came a sputtering sound –
Then he was smaller.
Fifty Cent could not
stay away from the crab cakes
now needs Epi-pen.
— Douche Wayne
out of convenience
he used her head as a swab
roids make your ass bleed
— creature
It puts the bicep
In the basket or it gets
The hose. Steroid hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Friday, April 26, 2013Friday Haiku
She’d never forget
That day her boogers became
Sentient beings.
She shakes maracas
After gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— UFO Destroyers
The Tsarnaev brothers
Tried to go incognito
On their way to Hell
— DoucheyWallnuts
The Winklevoss Twins
cut loose after a tough day
counting their money.
— Douche Wayne
Reality Show
Herpes: The Deadliest Catch
Turns your Peen green, too
— DoucheyWallnuts
Friday, April 19, 2013Friday Haiku
Calvin, wondering
If Claire’s “carpet” matched her “drapes”,
Conspires to go down.
Victorian Age
Douchebag goes exploring in
Her oyster gully
— Capt. James T. Douche
He hasn’t breathed in
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Victorian Douche
Preparing to go down on
Victorian Bleeth
— DoucheyWallnuts
In the days before
feminine douche invented
The smells could be strong.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
1809 was
A momentous year, as muff
Diving invented
— Capt. James T. Douche
He put the helmet/em>
In the basket with a hose
The Purple Flesh Hose
— DoucheyWallnuts
“I’d like to be in
HER Octopus’s Garden!”
pondered Phineas.
— Douche Wayne
This dude just loves to
Swim with bow-legged women,
Dives between their knees.
— hermit
Friday haiku shows
mock is applicable to
douchebags throughout time
— Charles Douchewin
Friday, April 12, 2013Friday Haiku
“You wanna screw for
that nut?”, Todd joked…No, but she’ll
Screw for an iPad.
STD spreaders
public funds pay for your fun
which way to clinic
— Bag em, Tag em
He puts the screw in
The basket without a wrench
The Purple Flesh Wrench
— DoucheyWallnuts
For copulation
Needs WD-40
And a screwdriver
— DoucheyWallnuts
This coupling won’t work,
Unless he’s on the bottom,
And she’s a spinner.
— hermit
His hair turned to snakes
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Sometimes she feels like
A nut. Sometimes she don’t. I’d
Chew her Almond Joy.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Friday, April 5, 2013Friday Haiku
Get your hands off her
You iPhone becrotched Tarzan;
You damn dirty ape
Father-daughter theme
dances: an invitation
into discomfort.
— Douche Wayne
Hot Hall Contender
Please tell me that’s your gay friend
Who’d like us to meet
— saulgoode42
Underboob beckons
Myan Eye of Coitus shines
My banana splits
— Mr. ScrotatoHead
If I wore loin cloth
My Indian name would be
Chief Raging renoB
— DoucheyWallnuts
Like a Bonobo
I would present my red ass
To father her chimps
— Mr. ScrotatoHead
Tarzan dumped Cheetah
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Friday, March 29, 2013Fraiku
Jan sulks, Kevin broods.
He ain’t getting no gravy
On his Limp Bizkit
Chad found out climax
Is bad time for Dutch Oven
To be pulled on wife
— DoucheyWallnuts
She’s a chatty pro.
Wonders how to spend the next
55 minutes.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Behind the blonde hair
and soft blue eyes lies only
entropic disdain.
— Charles Douchewin
She cooks, does dishes
But why does your mom have to
Be in here with us?
— Vin J Douchal
Ken thinks ’bout baseball
to prolong sexy time, finds
bats an odd turn-on
— Morbo
Bro Kevin bought the
Axe spray, K-Y lube, rubbers
Forgot the blue pill
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Friday, March 22, 2013Friday Haiku
Kim Kardashian’s
Make-up artists celebrate
The end of their shift.
They don’t use bronzer
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Skittles and vodka
Ecstasy, too much dancing
Results in Puke Fest
— DoucheyWallnuts
Broseph and the
Amazing Technicolor
Dream Coat II – The Rave
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Brainless skull vacuum
Sucks pressure out of the room
Glowstick Explosion
— Justin Timberbag
Shining the Blue Light
Reveals the bacteria
That indicates Poo
— DoucheyWallnuts
Friday, March 15, 2013Friday Haiku
Look at that scary
Unnatural plastic doll.
A Chucky doll, too!
It puts the doll in
The basket or it gets the
Hose. The wooden hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Plastic harvested
From Bleeth gives life to Chucky
She’ll spawn many more
— DoucheyWallnuts
Friday, March 8, 2013Friday Haiku
“Oh dear…” thought GrampBag,
“I’m afraid it has fallen
And it can’t get up”
Denim mini skirt
Tank top in Viagra blue.
Jump starts Jasper’s heart.
— Douche Wayne
“Hey baby! Wanna
Come back to my place and ride
The hip replacement.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Grandpa was charged with
Assault with a dead weapon
When Cops saw picture
— DoucheyWallnuts
The next morning, they
mixed up his dentures and her
diaphragm. Awkward!
— Douche Wayne
“This isn’t the man
Who shot Liberty Vallance.”
He smells burning toast.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Gramps celebrates Loud !
Learned he won Nigerian
Lottery !! He’s Rich !!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Grandpa busts a move
Whilst he busts an artery
And busts his last nut
— DoucheyWallnuts
