Friday Haiku
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Friday, December 7, 2012
Friday Haiku
Smiley McFlatChest
Looks on as History’s made:
OldBag meets No-Sag!
Those aren’t pasties
Her nipples are infected
From a bad boob job
— DoucheyWallnuts
The old guy prays for
Pinkie’s adhesive to fail
before his nap time.
— FoghornLeghorn
Frosty the Blow Man
Traded corn cob for crack pipe
Climbs gum drop mountains
Kandy Kane wants a
Kiss under her cameltoe
My yule log ignites
— Mr. Scrotato Head
Fake tits fake hair fake
Fur fake diamonds fake smiles,
Fake woman — real dick
— Ich verstehe sie ist heiß
Friday, November 30, 2012Friday Haiku
Gabe’s O.C.D. rages;
Must…Pop…Balloons…*CAN’T RESIST*
Silicone drowns Gabe.
Sweet face and cute tits
Contrast arm and thigh tattoos
And fat f*ck douchebag
— DoucheyWallnuts
Another douchebag
In way over his pay grade
Jergens at home
Mystery hand in
The background making the L
Gesture says it all!
— Capt. James T. Douche
This twinkie’s filling
supports a shelf that has an put
infinite shelf life.
— Charles Douchewin
Gabe’s forced grin reveals
No love for the funbags. Crows
“ANY-COCK’L-DOO!!!”
— Mr. Scrotato Head
He’s been a sad clown
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Friday, November 23, 2012Friday Haiku
Douchebag’s a Loser;
Hanging like a chicken neck
From a Turkey Wing.
O How I’d love to
Pardon her Turkeys; Fly free
Bra-Birdies…GOBBLE.
Ode for my side-part;
this douche has besmirched thy name,
embrace the clippers.
— Colossus of Choads
gobble gobble gak!
another heinous anus
douchebag and bleeth chick
— Troy Tempest
Did she earn those tags?
Yes sir! Works for Army as
Chlamydia sponge
— Charles Nelson Douchely
the ham & turkey
she has stowed away in blouse
have been well basted
— creature
Watch, glasses, D-cups
Everything is Super-Sized
except Juan’s dinky
— Morbo
She has been smiling
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
— Capt. James T. Douche
Her pendulous teats
Cannot distract us from the
Disgusting douchebag
— DoucheyWallnuts
Friday, November 16, 2012Friday Haiku
Gabe smiles, because soon
They’re knocking him out with their
American Thighs…
Old School Seventies
Gary’s Head is not Hairiest
Thing in the Picture
— Flounder
Inhibitions drop
As do standards for sex romp
One time at band camp
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
One piece bathing suits
Needed to hide huge bushes
Thank god for waxing
~~~~~
This picture is bad
Imagine what porn looked like
When photo was taken
~~~~~
Thick legged women
And guys with fros ruled the day
And people got laid
— DoucheyWallnuts
Before the term douche
was coined, bad decisions were
basic and hairy.
~~~~~
His belly is what
flesh-lights are made of. Keep that
in mind when you fap.
— Bag Margera
It hides the stash
In the fro or it gets the
Hose. The groovy hose.
~~~~~
They don’t get the crabs
Since the herbicide was sprayed
On her Monkey Hole.
~~~~~
Next frightening hair
Style after Farrah will be the
Dorothy Hamill.
— The (very) Reverend Chad Kroeger, Esq., Son
High score on Dig-Dug
Banged Orange Julius girls
Peaked in eighty-two
~~~~~
Juan’s weenus peeks out
From his epic Jungle Bush
Like a moray eel
— Ich verstehe sie ist heiß
DB1′s dad at
Camp Hayyawannafuckme
brings back memories.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
This was taken back
When it was still hip to say
“Lets make whoopie, babe!”
— Capt. James T. Douche
Friday, November 9, 2012Friday Haiku
When Jill groomed her vaj
Todd knew just what to do with
All of the clippings
Mr Chia Head
Scores well above his pay grade
His pubes will kill deal
He has a Dick Nest
To match the hair on his head
A Dick Nest, I says
He’s the centerfold
In Head Lice Illustrated
magazine, this month
— DoucheyWallnuts, on fuccen fire. Fire, I says.
In rememberance
of 1970s porn
moment of silence
— Capt. James T. Douche
A Jew fro flashback
Reminds me of young Starskey
Her Hutch smells of shame.
— Et Tu Douche?
I knew Juan Epstein
This douche has the hair but he
Is no Juan Epstein
— Ich verstehe sie ist heiß
He hasn’t shampooed
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
— Sick Rev Chad. Son.
Friday, November 2, 2012Friday Haiku
It’s the Thin White Puke
Running Station to Station –
“Let’s Dance…LadyBoy!”
Dieter’s stoic
Glare is unwavered even
When she untucks it.
— Capt. James T. Douche
The new Crying Game;
Checking their undercarriages
Brings tears to your eyes
— DoucheyWallnuts
Ziggy tucks his piece
Whilst China Girl thinks about
Making Modern Love
— DoucheyWallnuts
This guy gets drunk quick.
Tampons fall out so he soaks
Diapers in vodka.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Tim tries to plug hole
in blow-up doll with finger.
Valve stem much lower.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
The thousand yard stare
When swishy dude realized
The party’s coed
— Vin Douchal
Friday, October 26, 2012FRIGHTDAY HAIKU
TMI, Kojak:
“The carpet matches the drapes.”
And there goes my lunch.
Friday, October 19, 2012Friday Haiku
No dates for the Prom?
Don’t worry, Young Trust Fund Kid;
There’s always CraigsList
Young Eddie Munster
Has a shot at a threesome;
I’m very depressed
— DoucheyWallnuts
They were all impressed
with your Halston dress until
Crybaby showed up.
— Douche Wayne
“Which one should I wear?”
asks douche to disappointed
dad. Lone shot rings out.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Friday, October 12, 2012Friday Haiku
In a subway car
There’s all nationalities;
She is a Pole Lock.
Forget Kung-Fu grip.
This bleeth has Ham-Poo clench.
Frees hands for phone calls.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Hey! If Kegels work
for incontinence, ‘Poogels’
work for Hershey squirts??
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
This young lady’s had
So much sex, she now needs to
Keep a place holder
— saulgoode42
“mustn’t look” he thought
spandex butt calls like siren
angina flares up
— Douche Springsteen
Monkey hole event
horizon pulls all objects
inward to be crushed.
— UFO Destroyers
Butt eats subway pole,
chews it with her iron gut,
then craps out thumb tacks.
— Troy Tempest
Sometimes you sniff the
pole, sometimes the pole sniffs you
But don’t lick the pole
— DoucheyWallnuts
You may have my seat
Old gentleman offers it
Thank you. I can’t. Stuck.
— Vin Douchal
Friday, October 5, 2012Friday Haiku
Derek Smalls poses
Backstage with Spinal Tap fans;
Lets them “Smell The Glove”…
Pink nightmare crashes
Whores convention is a hit
Gives the keynote speech.
— Capt. James T. Douche
Foreskin through spandex
Crime against humanity
Bleeth’s don’t seem to care
— DoucheyWallnuts
Pink Monstrosity
In the middle challenges
Warm feelings for Hotts
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Molly Ringworm stars
In epic Hollywood film,
“NOT Pretty In Pink”
— hermit
Mustache rides are free,
he said, but hair care secrets?
That’s gonna cost ya.
— Morbo
These two hotts knew that
working on a Sex Farm would
lead them to Hell Hole.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Doctors Convention
Opens with new mascot, the
Full body prolapse.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
