Friday Haiku
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Friday, July 20, 2012
Friday Haiku
Cindy’s solution
To thwart Gurn’s booger picking;
Now…about those shorts…
His mask was so tight,
His brain blew through top of skull.
It was no great loss.
— hermit
Bleeth’s look says it all:
lie kekko desu (no thanks),
Mr. Roboto
— Dude McCrudeshoes
No face, no shirt? I
Think we’ve seen him here before.
Son Of Tonetta.
— The Reverend “Monkey Hole” Chad Kroeger
Mercury levels
At the “Wrap and Go Sushi”
Reach toxic level
— Vin Douchal
Man in Maximus
mask screams “are you entertained!?”
By you, sir? No. No.
— Morbo
Sway to the music
Get groped by Galaxian
Burning man still sucks
— Charles Nelson Douchely
Friday, July 13, 2012Friday the 13th Haiku
Family reunion
Gets awkward when Todd wears jeans
And sports unshaved balls
~or~
Then from Jack’s blue jeans
The midget burst out, yelling
“THE ARISTOCRATS!!!”
~or~
We’re here to answer
That CraigsList ad by some guy:
“Baron Von Goolo…?”
The pasties don’t move
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
At the strip club it’s
“Bring your brother to work day”.
Todd thinks, “Dumb idea.”
— Troy Tempest
Kim Kardouchian
Has new reality show
“Me and Four Losers”
— DoucheyWallnuts says
Mamas and Papas
Tribute band Fails Cal. Dreamin’
with Cleveland Steamin’.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Friday, July 6, 2012Friday Haiku
Hotties of the Rings,
find Assbo ‘Baggins fingers,
“Butthole, My Precious!”
One does not simply
douche at da clubs; arthritic
hand gestures needed.
— Wheezer
Lord of the Bling fails
To impress hotts with new show
Idea, “The Jersey Shire.”
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Olympic Rings Hott
makes me want to practice the
Breast Stroke for the Gold
— The Dude
Had fundraiser for
D-Bags finger condition
Raised sixty-two cents
— Anonymous
Mail order bride smiles
“Still, it beats Cherbnobyl.”
Not by a lot, though.
— Baron Von Goolo
Whoever makes Lord
of the Rings reference did
not get laid last night.
— Nancy Dreuche
Friday, June 29, 2012Friday Haiku
“Mmmm…nice firm Buddhas“…
Far away, angry monks
beat a Dolly Llama.
At my inner peace
With outer hostility
bitch-slapping this tool
— Charles Nelson Douchely
Crunches not working
For brunette. Salty diet caused
Stroke then she picked him.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Douchebag cops a feel
Tibetans spin prayer wheels.
Buddha clubs a seal.
— hermit
“I am destroyer
of dignity”. Bleeths giggle
but no enlightenment.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Friday, June 22, 2012Friday Haiku
Sir Roofus Malfoy
Tries to glamour a Muggle
With his tiny wand.
on top of the Albino
the wheelbarrow should have stayed
Pit of Despair, indeed
— Melvil_Duchi
The zombie Hitchens
Scours London for bath salts
And Anglo call girls.
— Capt. James T. Douche
She always dresses
To suit the occasion. This
Occasion was drapes.
— The Reverend MonkeyHole Kroeger
Hot chick with Fatt bag
British Empire continues
Millenial fail
— The Dude
Lord Autumn Bottom
Wants to show Ms Twiggy his
Yellow Submarine
— saulgoode42
Guy in this photo
Makes me ask the following;
Is Gregg Allman dead?
— Doucheywallnuts, I says
A much closer look
Reveals rare double lapels
Ray Charles dressed better
— Charles Douchewin
No style change for Steve
Since his grunge band broke up in
Nineteen ninety five
— Ich verstehe sie ist heiß
Oh those were the days
Elf extra in Lord Of The Rings**
Downhill spiral since
— Et Tu Douche?
**10 points to Gryffindor for Et Tu – D.S.
Friday, June 15, 2012Friday Haiku
Screams rend the sea air;
Jon pulled away; his nipple
Stayed with Urchin Bra.
Ladyboy of the
Sea trolls the docks for new ports
For sea cucumber.
— Capt. James T. Douche
Motorboat spiked boobs
Result: bad head injury
Jon will try again
— saulgoode42
King Henry of Jaune
Crossed the lake on a jet ski to
Feel the rasp of boob.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Mandana tilt guy
Swigs sunscreen rubs on vodka
Bros, set him on fire.
— ehcuodouche
Friday, June 8, 2012Friday Haiku
It’s douche/bleethe gumbo!
But it’s missing something though…
Toss in a toaster!
~~~
“I love Jacuzzis!”
Thought John, unaware of Jan’s
Savage flatulence
Fetid bath water
Reeks of taco farts and shame
I hope he got laid
— Et Tu Douche?
A threesome sours
When poor anal hygiene fouls
The water and mood.
— Capt. James T. Douche
Bo Derrick on left
Not named after star. Oil rig
Is her deal. Leaves spills.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Hey! That’s no bathtub!
That’s Andre’s big-ass toilet!
Now give ‘er a flush!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Dysentary is
Always more fun when shared with
Those real close to you.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
She has her leg up
Since the tub stopper was put
In her M****y Hole
— Doucheywallnuts
John forces a grin
Trying to hold anus tight
Corn bath for the Bleeths!
— Capt. James T. Douche
Anal Leakage meme
reverberates on this thread
Pass the Olestra
— SonnyChibaChoad
The smiles will soon
Fade away to psychosis
When bath salts kick in.
— Capt. James T. Douche
Time to call plumber
Sewage pipes backed up again
Draino can’t fix this
— Charles Nelson Douchely
Friday, June 1, 2012Friday Haiku
The wee man exclaims,
“¡Yo quiero Taco Smell!”
Old Bob has sour cream.
OR:
“I like a little
Mexican in my women”;
Says Literal Bob…
Bob the big winner
Gets a free round of salsa
Caught the ping pong ball
— Capt. James T. Douche
Frodo took wrong turn
instead of Mordor he found
Guadalajara.
— Douche Wayne
Larry tastes locals
Selection of tequilas
Wakes up kidney-less
— Vin Douchal
Spicy mons reveals
tattoo, midget reveals his
portable toilet
— Capt. James T. Douche
The keepers at the
Tralfamadorian zoo
mix and match humans
— Charles Douchewin
Mexican Gothic
Juanita y Juanito
Donde es Pitchfork?
— Doucheywallnuts
Taco, Burrito
What’s coming out her speedo?
A midget with dip!
— Jazz Hands
Three aliens land
In Mexico and assume
Normal family guise
— saulgoode42
Friday, May 25, 2012Friday Haiku
“I guess I could double
His fat, salt and carb intake”,
Jan sulked to herself…
All of Tony’s loot
Wasn’t enough to keep Jan
From boning his son
— saulgoode42
One million dollars
Each time I let this fat ass
On top of me. Woo!
— The Dude
This is what happens
When one wants to be the next
Anna Nicole Smith
— Charles Nelson Douchely
Money can’t buy love
But it can make a fat guy
Rich in blowies, Sons.
— Pooch Spackle
The remembers the
First time he mounted her. Her
Mons Pubis was crushed.
— v
Hide the Viagra
She thinks as he palms her ass
Holding back vomit
— Doucheywallnuts
She bangs really hard
Trying to loosen the stints
Heart bypass gold mine
— Vin Douchal
Money can’t buy love
But it can buy a tank top
that hides man teats. Hint.
— Pooch Spackle
Ahab did it wrong:
Best way to catch great white whale –
Spear him with whorepoon.
— Sir Huddleston Fuddleston
800 Euros
Buys you a Moldovan girl
Keep passport in safe
— Ich verstehe sie ist heiß
Friday, May 18, 2012Friday Haiku
Showers, dignity,
Toothbrush…These are some things that
Häwk can live without.
Turds of a feather
Float together, Billy Ray’s
Son spreads douche virus
— Capt. James T. Douche
His bumper sticker
Says. “My other tattoo is bad
Chinese wallpaper.”
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
If you take away
Tatts and hot Asian girlfriend
Dull white guy remains
— Mrs. Nuttersquirt
The tears of a clown
Mix with hot asian lotion
To form pinkish film
— saulgoode42
