Zach and Kevin Are Undergrad Business Majors
It don’t matter what decade it is.
Undergrad business majors boozing it up with the girls from the next door Jr. College have always looked like these puds, currently look like these puds, and will always look like these puds.
It’s nice to know there are some certainties in life.
Like sultry Blonde Cindy not knowing how much sexual currency she carries until she’s already married, preggers, and living in Jersey while her Wall Street husband commutes. And goes for Thai Massages twice a week.
Friday Haiku
The Choad Warrior,
Macks on Latina Tina,
Busts leather “jazz hands.”
Spike Hair Pasty Douche
Master Illusionist makes
Pride Disappear fast
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
Beyond Chunderdome,
Gel Gibson channels Jacko,
waits for her li’l bro.
— Wheezer
It’s hard to look seri-
ous, or mean with a tinted
windshield on your face
— Anonymous
Safety Harness at
Hip; hold tight tiny Tina,
For magic explosion
— Luis Douchuel
Blue streak punk bleeth likes
Nic Cage “Valley Girl” dressed Douchebags
I miss the Eighties
— The Fourth Horseman of the Douchepocalypse
quit taco bueno
now magician’s assistant
regrets decision
— paperorplastic
80s retro douche
Needs magic to impress hotts
You’re Terminated.
— Blair
Elliot Zimet:
Make one glove disappear from
Caucasian “Jacko”
— dknutty
Prinze
Dearly beloved…
We are gathered here today to get through this thing called douche. Electric word, douche. It means stupid sunglasses. And that’s a mighty stupid thing. But I’m here to tell you, there’s something else. The boobie reveal. A reveal of never ending bounciness. You can always see the boob, day or night.
So when u call up that shrink in Beverly Hills, you know the one – Dr Douchebegone. Instead of asking him why Vegas is filled with scrotewank,
ask him why boobies beckon with primal call.
And…. scene.
The Starhawk Lives in Party Snow
While we’re taking a look back at some of the douchal legends of 2010, here’s July’s HCwDB non-winner The Starhawk.
Still party douchey shoe scrape toe fung outhouse flush.
Still wearing long silky scarves and fondling boozy paid-to-pose Lauren, who while not remotely the hott that maggie was, still looks like she’s ready to party like a pre Hayes Code Clara Bow.
Sad Bonzo
There’s no excuse to be sad when faced with Blue Eyed Bosom, Sad Bonzo.
None.
You’re not really a douche, Sad Bonzo. Probably shouldn’t be on the site.
But hey. Bosom.
And by bosom, I mean fertile flesh gnaw slappy boinger ski-slope happy whee.
O Face Oswald
Oswald may dress like a sidekick villain from a mid-80s teen comedy. And while 80s teen comedy movie references normally make me happy, that don’t excuse the O-Face, Scrotewad.
Now step away from the Dean’s daughter before someone gets expelled.
Arnie The Rayon Shirt Guy
Arnie’s a good guy. He means well.
It’s just he’s had this thing for Sophie from H.R. for the past two years, and he’s so convinced that tonight is the night that he went into three figures to buy that Mark Jacobs shirt on sale at Nordstroms.
And now, sadly, we have to give him a stage-1 Douche tag.
But hang in there, Arnie. Even though it’s a minimal violation, we’re pulling for you.
And Sophie is quality gnaw, as is her B.F.F. from London, Maggie. So we understand the impulse, even if we do not forgive the shirt.
Sabio Says If You Have a Wife or a Girlfriend That Doesn’t Look Like a Man Give Him a Call
“Sabio,” not pictured here but one of The Bros ™ from Monday’s Carla and The Bros ™, responds in the comments thread:
————–
This is a great pic !!!
I am reading this from my balcony in Mexico overlooking the ocean . I must say I have had a great laugh at all your comments .
Enjoy making comments on your computer screen , while I am out here having fun with tons of girls who think my body is amazing !!
To me the only homos are you fags taking the time to beat off to my picture , while you sit in your miserable little room at your moms house.
Your jealous because you only can wish you had a life like mine , 3 months a year in Mexico , and more girls in a week then all you pathetic homos have in a life time .
Cheers , enjoy your shitty day and pathetic lives !
Ps. I get off on the hate so this is just making me laugh , it’s classic !!
When you look like me, losers like you are insignificant , your just plain comedy 🙂
——
And a short while later:
—–
You humor me you pathetic losers we live in Cancun Mexico for 3 months a year in a million dollar condo while u losers freeze in the cold winter in you rental apartment and all you talk about is gay this and gay that that makes you feel better as if you had a wife or girlfriend you notice I say IF u had a girlfriend or wife they would be fixated on f#cking me not u losers and if you have a wife or girlfriend that doesn’t look like a man give me a call and I will show u how to f#ck her so she doesn’t have to stare at the ceiling and fake like she does every night with u
——-
You know who also liked to stare at the ceiling and fake? Hitler.
Caption This Pic
The Bedouin Riders from the Island of Long often recruited harem girls who cried “Woo!” across the Serengeti. For their Gatorade would not pour itself.
Chatroulette Douche Sees Boobies For The First Time
A narrative in the classic three act structure with character development, anticipation, set up, plot twist revelation and thematic resolution.
As taught by noted screenwriting guru, author Sid Field.
