Friday Haiku
Jed’s scalp underwear,
Caked with pheromones, attracts
Desperate cougars
The Dude said…
Use Axe Body Spray
And how you look don’t matter
You are a douchebag
Sugar Ray singer
Meets his two fans all these years
Later at the club.
Evil Jed Clampett
fingers Ellie Mae’s ‘possum
sticks it in cider.
Jed doesn’t care that
he can attract groupies from
latest Krokus tour.
The bottle-blonde twins
hold on to sixteen as long
as they can? Kougarz!
The exit sign is
The only attractive thing
in this whole picture.
It puts the bleach
In the basket, or it gets
The Hose. The Jedidiah Hose.
The purple light shines
Since the gyroscope was put
In their Monkey Holes.
Cougars celebrate
freshly installed gyroscopes
Jed is next in line.
George Hamilton’s girls
Were born tan and bottle blonde
With taste for douchebags
Here’s Patient Zero
The Asshat Epidemic
Spreading through your town
“Je n’suis pas Charlie!”
Les blondes allez mettre
Le Grand gryoscope
Friday Haiku
Both Slim Jenny and
Biff both at Ground Zero when
Diarrhea strikes
Slim Jenny’s Rehab
party is derailed by Biff’s
sudden butt plug slip.
She must eat the grain
Since the gyroscope was
In her Monkey Hole.
When the mooslims bomb
Las Vegas down to the dirt
I’ll join the Jihad
Why am I working?
When Rehab looks just like what
puts you in Rehab.
I think I see a
pea that she ate last week. No
just belly button.
Somewhere in L.A.
a restaurant is missing
its waitress / busboys
WTF on right!
Arms like twigs. Pale moonlight flesh.
Tribe of Ghost Douches.
She raised her arm shank
In bold vegan defiance
Then she fell over
Vin Diesel macks on
Rehab Guidette in background
Whilst party rages
Friday-ish Hungover Haiku
Excited DoucheBags
Eager to rip packaging
Off RealDoll™ purchase.
It puts the lotion
in basket or gets the hose
shrink-wrap Asian ho’s
Fraiku
***Yeah, I know DB1 had this gem as a link on his Chrimmas post…but dammit it’s just too good to pass up for Fraiku. Boss been sittin’ on some primo bag pics, yo. – D.S.***
Vin “Cool Breeze” Capon
Smirks as Liza collapses;
“Roofie’s kickin’ in…”
Ed Hardy Har Har said…
Eyes roll back in head.
LIza won’t be seeing Vin’s
premature cork pop.
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
Will this be the year
I have threesome with Katie
Couric and T-Pain?
DoucheyWallnuts said…
Trina would have sworn
Rex was transgender until
She checked under shirt
Magnum Douche P. I. said…
Other pec has date
tatt of his mom’s gang bang when
really created
Magnum Douche P. I. said…
Is she unconscious
if her eyes are are still open ?
Asking for Cool Breeze.
Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said…
His tattoo is why
millions believe in Flying
Spaghetti Monster.
Ed Hardy Har Har said…
Unconscious just means
she’s given her consent, right?
Asking for Cool Breeze.
hermit said…
In darkness of night
Her eyes are encrusted with
Satanic Wheat Chex™
Wheezer said…
Over-drafted card
in hand, Sally disgusted
by last charge on it.
DoucheyWallnuts said…
She’ll wear a ball gag
Before the night is over
And not remember
Friday Haiku
Biff Precious chuckles
As he ogles at these two;
“Hell…I’ll buy them BOTH!”
I live for things like
The twinkle in Blondie’s eyes
And Beth’s tinkle hole.
Biff chuckles, head back
Sent these babes loaded drinks
Windowless van waits
It puts the cleft in
The palate, or it gets the
Hose. Kirk Douglas Hose.
Biff reels in horror
As Cindy’s boiled eggs and beans
Turn solid to gas.
Kurt Russell Douche macks
On the Boner Twins but they
Have Sapphic intent
Biff was gonna go
All Cosby on those chicks ass.
Drugged himself instead.
Insecurity
over uneven nipples.
Donkey punch is fine.
That tranny’s nipples
Gave me a huge shame Renob
Biff views tuck technique.
Drinks for all my friends!
yells barfly Biff as he falls
the tab was six bucks.
**^Runner up! D.S.**
I have now Hitler’d
A couple billion tadpoles
Thinking of clam bump
Dat Willem Dafoe
knows how to bag the hotties;
Green Goblin’ dem boobs
Tranny bashing is
All the rage. Never makes it
To the Sock’s first page.
Friday Haiku
In this week’s Fraiku –
Caption this in Haiku form;
Double Jeopardy…
Daniel knows Brian
is quite the cunning linguist…
…and that’s first hand too.
Oh, they are so cute
Mom can we take these fidgets
home with us please, please!
First paycheck from
The assistant manager
Gig at Brooks Brothers
Tailored jacket Todd
Says I knew Winston Churchill
And you are no dude?
Family portrait
Shows incest is not the best
Nor is it straight. Sons
Barry shows off his
technique for making Chaz tight
to unimpressed girls.
The Robertson twins
cavort with Jose Cuervo
They both swallow worm.
Semitic Hotties
Pining for non-Kosher meat
Non-Kosher, I says
Chad tries to send Chaz
subtle message about what
he wants in restroom.
Could be wrong here guys
Chick on right, Armenian?
Shaved arm/mustache hair?
Friday Haiku
My brother’s escaped
From Psych Ward; lock up your daughters;
His name is…PinkSock.
Sock’s laptop is hosed
It’s all ate up with Mal-Ware;
O damn you, Brazzers…
Gaymau5 does not miss
Leg day at the gym ever
It rubs the lotion…
PinkSock battle cry
Turns bitter dissapointment
Finds out got a chick
Catwoman’s birthday
stripper wasn’t really what
Batman expected.
“Meet your new cellmate”
is what you don’t want to hear
when seeing this guy
The PinkSock is swole
everywhere but in his
rubber pantaloon.
Don’t google Pinksock
unless you want to see the
Revs wife’s prolapsed ass
PinkSock is swole since
Batwoman put her finger
in his monkeyhole
The other Pink Meat
Is waaaaay preferable to
This living Jacques link
It stuffs the prolapse
In the anus or it gets
The hose. The Puke Hose
PinkSock wails in angst
Got six more weeks of re-hab
Peed in a cup once
Silence of the Gams
Hannibal Rectum puts
Clarrisse in prolapse.
The stunt double for
George Michaels sighs; “Any old
Pork in a Storm…ewwww“
George Michael stand-in
says softer than the hard men
I’m used to. UPSET!
That 70’s show
reboot looks way better than
the original.
“Spent my whole paycheck,
all I have to show for it,
is this lap dance, Son.”
It puts the beard in
The basket or it get the hose.
The Bathroom Stall Hose.
“Ride me you beast” shouts
Jenny. Fake George looks for his
car keys for Yugo.
George Michael is gay
Since the gyroscope was put
In his monkeyhole.
Do U even lift?
How’d you find a brown Sharpie
To draw brows and beard
Oh, don’t cry for me
Asian Tina, truth is I
Don’t even lift, bro
“This girl is really
skanky. Bro, don’t you dare take
my pho…. Gawdamnit!”
Two-for-one huge ass
sunglasses hide the vapid
stares of the soul-less
She has a Googutz
That launched a 1000 renoBs
And he’s killed them all
Fraiku: Swole Edition
SwoleBro scores Blonde Hott.
Ego is also swollen;
He bangs her sister.
Penis and nipple
have much in common. Both are
limp and pancake shaped.
It puts the skank in
The basket, or it gets the
Hose. The Valtrex Hose.
Mad Men head on Swole
Bro body leaves me confused.
But nipple leaves me…
.
with the urge to barf!
How can he be so swole and
possess flapjack nip?
Can dead lift V-Dub
Though frequently forgets mom’s
Address where he lives
He finished second
In gynecomastia
Contest. She won first
Like Grandma used to say:
All swole’ arms and peanut head,
Makes Jack a dull boy
Does this mean that porch
beef has twice the calories
as regular beef?
Brole™ flashes piece sign
Blonde Hott is thinking “Shocker?
Out here by the pool?”
Even Bob Barker
would donate money to get
these two neutered, sons.
Cement head admits
“Two lumps on left testicle
Who cares though, I’m swole”
Caption This
It puts the Hooters in the diaper or it gets The Hose. The Fun Hose.
