Marcus Runs With The Goose in Thailand
More from the partying adventures of wayward rich American youth in torture cells in outer Thailand somwhere near the Cambodian/Prussian 38th parallel.
This story don’t end well neither.
For it features nipple clamps and blueberry pie. Served on a series of cascading rice patties held together by barbed wire and goat weed by a feral monkey named Dave.
And David Lynch yawns and asks me to quietly leave his driveway without causing a fuss.
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Friday Haiku
Todd and Linda love
casino tribute acts like
Billy Midol here.
Harpo lost his harp
Now he plays Kim’s washboard abs
Steve’s making duck soup
– saulgoode42
Billy Midol at The Sands
with Count Plate Facey
and Quincy Ab-Bones
– tall guy
Spikey haired ass clown
Douche not a douche for tall Todd?
Great abs need suckle
– Scrotewank Jones and the furry furry Douchetrots
Actor playing Doug
cops feel — but not on Linda!
Todd needs an adult.
– Morbo
Poor Draco Malfoy
Now making appearances
At lame fitness shows.
– DoucheyWallnuts
What’s her Secret? Well
Instead of deoderant
she uses douches.
– Nancy Dreuche
Tatum O’ still tight
Billy Corgan grows out hair
Dick Clark close to death
– Vin Douchal
That ageing douchebag
Thinks he can postpone his fate.
Hairclub for Men: Why?
– Jeff Reed Towel Dispenser
She hasn’t exhaled
Since the gyroscope was put
In her monkey hole.
– The Reverend Meme Kroeger
Mooby Mooby Moo
Too-tight t-shirts and moob reveal punch the Baby Tebus in both the frankincense and the mur.
Li-yen’s emotionally distant Hong Kong-born parents never bothered to be nice to her. And so she dates the Gwai-Lo.
And not just any Gwai-Lo.
Douche Gwai-Lo.
Name Tommy’s Shoulder Tatt
My money is on Early 90s Bar Mitzvah D.J. Paul Rudd.
This calls for Attitudinal Tiny Dancer Maria Bikini Pics for solace.
Bernie Is In Over His Pay Grade
In the 80s, this definitely would’ve been a wacky teen comedy starring Jon Cryer, Lea Thompson, and that guy from Die Hard with the pockmarked face as the angry principal, Mr. Fasterbender.
At least, that’s how it plays out in the 80s in my mind.
Kevin’s Adventures in Thailand
I’m pretty sure this story ends with a bathtub filled with ice, the smell of iodine, a bucket of horse spittle dumped over a rancid latrine, and the distant whine of a forlorn chihuahua who ate no noodles for dinner.
Esoteric Wednesday
If you ever wondered what deepest darkest fears haunt the subconscious of suburban, white America, now you know.
Pop Quiz
Pop quiz time, kids!
Party Girl Michelle is pointing at:
A. Her bestie, Kayla, who is totally, like, Woo!!!
B. The only pattern in the room not shaped like a doily puking up an ink blot.
C. The head of Alfredo Garcia.
D. The last shred of her dignity being munched on by a wayward cockroach.
EDIT: Whoops, had a premature publication last night. Carry on…
The Wrong Kind of Boob Reveal
What you looking at, brgho? Consuelo kick yu-arr ass, brgho. Consuelo also lika de rouggggeee. But dat not maka him gay!
Ambiguously Persian Semitic Hott Naomi offers the sneaky real world sphincter tickle of oblique erotic trauma.
Buckles Jones and Miriam Von Bleeth Are a Vortex of Culture Suck
Okay okay, before the “I thought this site was called HOT CHICKS with douchebags?” comments start appearing, chillax.
This pic was too douchey not to mock. I mean fer chrissakes, if some corner of the internet doesn’t mock this steaming collection of Jerry Springer Bowel Movement, then I don’t know what.
If you need a slice of hott, enjoy some Champagne Katie Underwear POV. And then stop yer bitchin’.
