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Monday, April 11, 2005
Fraiku – ye olde pyraat edition
Blow me down, Matey;
Thar be treasure behind yon
Pasty sunken chest…
Ten-year-old girl, arms
Since the gryoscope was put
In his Dickie Hole.
THAR he blows: chances.
The Great White Fail never sees
The man in the boat.
Twenty thousand leagues
out of his league: “DIGZ me Brah!”
Know what I mean, Vern?
Those scribbled tatoos
are just like his pectorals.
No definition.
Gross hairy nipples
Will keep Chuck from scoring chicks
That, and Fetus Arms
Shiver me timbers
This landlubber has no chance
of scoring some booty
Girl on right tried to
Get into porn. Only made it
To Revengeyou.com
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Fraiku
Those Bros really like
Over-inflated pink things
And flamingos too.
It eats the brine shrimp
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Pinky hole.
Everything is
Inflated, the bird, her chest
And now my Renob
Llamas escape and
run amok in Sun City.
Where is DB1 ?
What color are shorts?
Another internet craze?
These shorts smell like farts
P V C Polly
Has become the new furrby
Wicked rash erupts
The director yelled
“CUT!”; the flamingo popped,
and there was silence.
The pink flamingo
Is the only inflated
thing good in this pic.
Filming porno in
parking lot means using props
that are within reach.
Chickens rejoice as
Choking the Flamingo
Is the new rage
Devine would never
Had career if appeared in
This “Pink Flamingos”
Forget about wench
What these chaps prefer is
Flamingo scratch-hole
Saturday, April 9, 2005
Fraiku
Our Founding Fathers
Gaze down and weep as they see
Public Sodomy
The County Fair gets
Awkward when any coitus is
Performed at food court.
Besties in back laugh
at his dic pic. She sets scene;
captures the moment.
disgruntled douchebag
just got a call from his mom
credit cards missing
Stern, grim drunken douche
Using AMEX to buy room
Will skip on that bill
He oozes much douche
She is little, taught, supple
This is the essence
Sh!t Stain Tattoo can’t
Kill renoB brought to life by
Claire and her triceps
She offers a pear.
He’s thinking about bros. Both
are disappointed.
She holds these douches
To be self-aggrandizing
But twerks anyway
Nigel Pepper Cockk
Could lift her clean off the ground
From that position
I would like to slide
my Washington Monument
inside her White House
Pec tatt scribble is
Entirely pointless when
Dr. Seuss seems hard
We The People. In
Order to form a more perfect
Union, doggy style.
Fraiku
There’s this recession;
Biff finds himself hard-pressed in
Silicone Valley
Constant as the sun
and the movement of the tides;
Douchebags love airbags.
Make it a double
I says, time to motorboard
Who cares if they’re fake?
Biff has gotten soft
she is hard in all the wrong
places, face and boobs
He’s got the bad bloat
Since the gryoscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
Sanjay blows Apple
store paycheck on bad trip to
Silicone Valley.
Neighborhood dogs howl
in pain when chest puppies are
rubbed together sons.
D-List porn actress
moonlights as Bud Light beer girl.
Gives butt hole a rest.
Dime store sunglasses
7-11 money
Dime store Indian
Hadji got sidetracked
by Yucca Mountain Boobies
in his Johnny Quest!
Saline bags ain’t tits
And don’t make a guy a chick
No matter how big
Millennials. Can’t
Shoot em, can’t employ them.
Wilted salad years.
fraiku
Blouse Largeman brings shame
Unto the proud house Largeman…
Eye of Horus scowls…
Nice camisole, bro.
The fake dog tags don’t distract
need for training bra.
Boardwalk Douche woke up,
got dressed in the dark. Too bad
was sister’s closet!
Bruce Jenner inspired
bi-curious Boardwalk Douche
to change his gender.
The eyes on the wall
are unburdened by that, which
we cannot unsee.
Nigel Pepper Cock
Called to ask for his shirt back
Douche hung up on him
I wonder if he
Wore cami-flage when he was
On the battlefield.
He don’t wear pasties
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
I’d strain hot water
through Blondie’s sweaty panties
then drink the sweet broth
Deer in headlights
Has larger IQ than this
Joey Porsch-ette
New New Jersey look
Newark Blowback Curled Up Poof
Styled in glory holes
Unearned dog tags and
Jersey blowout will lead to
veteran beating.
Friday Haiku – Silicone Edition
You ever wonder
How RealDolls™ are made? I know.
These two hump, birth them.
She’s got a palsy
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
I would penetrate
Blondie’s microkini with
My plumb bob pants pipe
Her sippy cup of
Energy drink brew cocktail
Cost him weekly pay
Migrant farm workers
pause in the fields to savor
a break from the heat.
Bottle Blonde Man Head
Kills my renoB. Tight torso
Not withstanding. Son
Does anyone else
think that her tatt resembles
most of Chad’s colon?
Juan works out at the
No Leg Machines Gym. Shops at
the Johnny Cash Store
When silicone starts
to lactate from your hips you
know you have problem.
Twenty-three and she’s
already starting to get
the Bea Arthur look
She has shaved her Mons
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkeyhole
Aztec bicep tatt
God of Infertility
At least let’s hope so
It put the roids in
The basket, or it gets the
Hose. The Shrunken Hose
Fraiku
Look at them nipples!
I mean his nipples, not hers…
Fraiku Deflate-Gate.
Oliver Reed once
beat this dude arm wrestling
then stole his whiskey
When Chad flexes pecs
everyone everyone around him gets
free man-milk sample.
Way back, Cancún thought:
“What’s a few americans?”
Buckle up, Cuba.
John Largeman finger
divining nearby douches!
And large milk reserve!
Slim Jenny and Biff
Mark another failed Rehab
Back again next week
It’s all fun ’til the
silicone hits his bloodstream,
shuts down his organs.
Friday Haiku
Jed’s scalp underwear,
Caked with pheromones, attracts
Desperate cougars
The Dude said…
Use Axe Body Spray
And how you look don’t matter
You are a douchebag
Sugar Ray singer
Meets his two fans all these years
Later at the club.
Evil Jed Clampett
fingers Ellie Mae’s ‘possum
sticks it in cider.
Jed doesn’t care that
he can attract groupies from
latest Krokus tour.
The bottle-blonde twins
hold on to sixteen as long
as they can? Kougarz!
The exit sign is
The only attractive thing
in this whole picture.
It puts the bleach
In the basket, or it gets
The Hose. The Jedidiah Hose.
The purple light shines
Since the gyroscope was put
In their Monkey Holes.
Cougars celebrate
freshly installed gyroscopes
Jed is next in line.
George Hamilton’s girls
Were born tan and bottle blonde
With taste for douchebags
Here’s Patient Zero
The Asshat Epidemic
Spreading through your town
“Je n’suis pas Charlie!”
Les blondes allez mettre
Le Grand gryoscope
Friday Haiku
Both Slim Jenny and
Biff both at Ground Zero when
Diarrhea strikes
Slim Jenny’s Rehab
party is derailed by Biff’s
sudden butt plug slip.
She must eat the grain
Since the gyroscope was
In her Monkey Hole.
When the mooslims bomb
Las Vegas down to the dirt
I’ll join the Jihad
Why am I working?
When Rehab looks just like what
puts you in Rehab.
I think I see a
pea that she ate last week. No
just belly button.
Somewhere in L.A.
a restaurant is missing
its waitress / busboys
WTF on right!
Arms like twigs. Pale moonlight flesh.
Tribe of Ghost Douches.
She raised her arm shank
In bold vegan defiance
Then she fell over
Vin Diesel macks on
Rehab Guidette in background
Whilst party rages
Friday-ish Hungover Haiku
Excited DoucheBags
Eager to rip packaging
Off RealDoll™ purchase.
It puts the lotion
in basket or gets the hose
shrink-wrap Asian ho’s
